my husband  has  advanced pancreatic cancer with another bowel cancer. he only started palliative chemo 2 weeks ago . once a week for 3 weeks and then a week off. however he is in such a mess already. the first week was not bad but this week it has really hit him. he has spent most of the day in bed and can not cope with anything but water. his stoma bags fill with fluid at an alarming rate. he is weak and finds it difficult even to walk to the bathroom. he says if chemo does this  then he would rather have a short time feeling better  than weeks of living death.  quality over quantity any time. we all respect his decision.

Hi Carroll

So sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis. 

I stopped my chemotherapy back in November 2019. I have to say that I'm positive I've made the correct decision. Although I have a terminal prognosis, so far so good. No significant progression or growth of my current tumours, and I'm feeling so much better! No nausea and vomiting, constant chest infections, brain fog or fatigue! I've been on holiday with family several times and had great adventures and created wonderful memories!

If it is your husbands wish to stop chemotherapy, you must support him all the way. I know I felt a great deal of guilt when I made the decision to stop treatment, thinking I was denying family and friends precious time with me. They would all now agree that I made the right decision. Being able to spend quality time, feeling well, is so much more important than hanging on for a few extra months!

Hope all goes well for you and your husband. Please stay in contact. 

With love x

Hi Pompom,

I am glad to hear that you are so happy to have stopped having chemo. It is also good to hear that you have the backing of your family and friends.

I agree that there is a lot in quality of life, as opposed to having a little extra time along with the side-effects. Your advice to Carrol is spot on.

Please stay in touch and let us know how you are getting on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

hi  pompom,

thank you for your reply.  he is glad to have made the decision to stop and  is already feeling better than he did.  we are finding  that  he is more alert and taking an interest  in things as well as improving physically. however he is still struggling to eat and is weak because of this. 

chemo  may be fine for some  but definitely not everybody. 

hope you  keep well. carroll xx

Just been reading Pompoms posts and replies. What an extremely brave and courageous lady you are, I admire your decisions you have taken to have more quality time towards the end of your life!.

(pompom has not posted since July 2019 ?)

Hi, thought I should let you know that I'm still alive and kicking! 

I have continued to remain pretty stable, with the tumours growing very slowly until last August when a CT scan showed that the cancer had spread to my central lymph nodes again. My oncologist persuaded me to try radiation treatment (no more of that nasty chemotherapy for me)! I finished the treatment in October, with very few side effects (mainly oesophagitis). A further CT scan in January showed that unfortunately, the radiation treatment has not worked and has actually caused more damage (scar tissue in my lung). 

My oncologist has suggested more chemotherapy which would give me on average an extra 6 weeks of survival. My response was of course a resounding no! As I have said before, quality of life is far more important to me than quality, and I intend to savour that quality in reasonably good health. I continue to enjoy life and stay positive and determined. I have had a few setbacks with chest infections and a hospital stay, but otherwise I'm fit and well. I've been working in my garden, and hopefully will enjoy some sunny days outside with family and friends later this year.

Thankyou for all your replies and support. I love reading your comments and encouragement.

Hi, thought I should let you know that I'm still alive and kicking! 

I have continued to remain pretty stable, with the tumours growing very slowly until last August when a CT scan showed that the cancer had spread to my central lymph nodes again. My oncologist persuaded me to try radiation treatment (no more of that nasty chemotherapy for me)! I finished the treatment in October, with very few side effects (mainly oesophagitis). A further CT scan in January showed that unfortunately, the radiation treatment has not worked and has actually caused more damage (scar tissue in my lung). 

My oncologist has suggested more chemotherapy which would give me on average an extra 6 weeks of survival. My response was of course a resounding no! As I have said before, quality of life is far more important to me than quality, and I intend to savour that quality in reasonably good health. I continue to enjoy life and stay positive and determined. I have had a few setbacks with chest infections and a hospital stay, but otherwise I'm fit and well. I've been working in my garden, and hopefully will enjoy some sunny days outside with family and friends later this year.

Thankyou for all your replies and support. I love reading your comments and encouragement.

Hi Pompom,

 Thank you so much for your update. We are delighted to hear that you are still alive and kicking, despite the various setbacks that you've experienced. I'm so sorry to hear that the radiation treatment hasn't worked and has left you with further problems. It sounds as if you are still quite sure about refusing chemo and, I'm delighted to hear that you are happy with the decision you took.

This has been a very strange year and has put all of our lives into perspective. I'm so glad to hear that you are holding on to that positivity and still able to work in your garden. I am currently coping with a greenhouse that is bulging with bedding plants. With the current setback in the weather it is still too soon to plant them out, as we are still getting frost at night.

I do so hope that things will return to normal this year and that you can catch up with family and friends again later in the year. 

Stay well and don't forget that we are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx