Hello Franklillymaisie,

So sorry to hear about your grandad's situation and sad to read you are struggling with this difficult time. On reading your post I was horrified to think that you feel there's something wrong with you because these reactions are normal. People react  differentely toward loosing a loved one and they behave differently in dealing with the inevidable. Those around you are grieving with you so may not notice your pain as they struggle with their own. It makes talking awkward and emotions hard to cope with but talking can help all of you. If you feel you can't talk to your family try one of the cancer charities they are so helpful and work with grieving relatives as well as cancer patients. Please, please stop worrying about how you respond, I think you are trying to put a brave face on things and maybe cheer everyone up which is kind not cruel. Wishing you and your family well through this horrible experience.