I'm not sure why I'm doing this but I hope it will make me feel better than just swallowing up all the misery I'm holding in. My dad is touching 60 he was diagnosed with cancer of the tongue and neck lyngh nodes . He went through chemo and radiotherapy and recently found out it didn't work . Then he was told today because tumour is too big they won't operate on his neck Which means it will spread.  I forgot to mention this is stage 4 cancer.  He was told without treatment 12months to live and with treatment even if it works your talking months on top.  My dad had separated from my.mum basically when I was born and I'm now 26. I have seen him growing up but I feel now that it wasn't enough. My two sisters and my step sister and step brother are also his children. I feel really terrible as I did something across my dad like last year but we made up I think when he was diagnosed.  I feel like so lost as because between my sisters and family we all live so far away from each other I feel like I have no one to talk to properly.  I do have my partner and she is amazing but it's different cus I don't want to get upset in front of her so I bottle it in and cry like a baby to myself when I'm alone.  I feel so angry towards cancer and the doctors or have told.my dad they won't operate.  I won't babble on any more