Hello and welcome.  I am sorry your dad appears to be moving towards the end of his life.  We know logically that this is going to happen but it doesn't make it easier when we are faced with a loved one gradually dying.  In my (admittedly limited) experience of cancer deaths this can vary greatly from one person to another.  My son's father died in his sleep after a relatively painless decline and being fairly alert until the end was very close.  A neighbour for whom I helped care had a very gradual decline during which he stopped eating and his breathing deteriorated.  I believe this is not uncommon but the time involved can vary a great deal from person to person.   I hope you have palliative care nurses with whom you can discuss what is happening. 

I am attaching a link to some information from this website which is about the final days and weeks.

www.cancerresearchuk.org/.../last-few-weeks-and-days

I would say now is the time to ensure that things that want to be said are said, wills settled and any requests for funeral services.  Not at all easy but important to all concerned.  My best wishes to you. Annie

My brother Bill died from GBM4 back in Sept of 2018.    It was crazy he passed out while painting was taken to the hospital they thought he had a stroke but that was not the case.   They did a Cat scan and then MRI saw the mass.   That was a tuesday then they did surgery they said they got 86% it was a mess doing the analysis to see if it was cancerous or not.   Before they could even find out he passed away from a brain bleed coming from the sugery.   It was crazy.   After sugery within the same day he was up and walking going to the bathroom on his own.   THey told him he might even be able to go home in a day or so but he failed a few coordnation excersies they then said he could not go home.   That upset him and I think that caused the brain bleed.   The docs said not really I still say it was the case.   After the brain bleed he was pretty much brain dead and we took him off life support he died one day later.    I am still dealing with this and feel that the hospital was at fault for trying to get him up and moving so quickly.    After his passing the bioposy came back and he did in fact have GBM4 very advanced so his life was not going to be good anyhow but I would like to have had a little more time.  

I’m am so sorry for your loss this made me cry this morning reading this I just feel so heartbroken for you I k so I don’t know you but k owing we have gone thought the same is just so sad I know I still have my mum here and I spend everyone moment I can with her but you just don’t know when this is goin to happen and I think that’s what I’m finding hard like your dad my mum was told April last year she has her ups and downs she has just got over shingles she seems to be a lot more tired than she was and I don’t no if this is how it goes or what’s goin to happen next I just can imagine my life with out her or how I’m even goin to cope..

Im sending you so much love thank you for your message xxx

Please Keep talking to your mum, she can still hear you, hold her hand, cherish every second. It was only Tuesday I said to my dad “il see you later on dad, love you” and he managed to reply “you shall” and squeezed my hand. Then from Tuesday night he has just looked like he has been in a permanent deep sleep. No pain, no suffering, just asleep. I’m only on day 1, but god I’m struggling, I never knew I had this many tears and I never knew pain like this existed. At 31, I never thought I’d lose my dad, he was only 52, not ready to leave this world yet. The only comfort I get out of this whole nightmare is that this was a pain free death and he always looked comfortable and peaceful. He has now gone to a kinder place. My thoughts are with you and your family at this very difficult time and thankyou for listening to me droan on, I just wanted to share my story with someone who understands and answer questions for people that I never knew the answer to, until now x x x

Thank you..I have so many questions but I don’t no where to start I do talk to mum all the time and always tell her I love her she really is my best friend..

my mum did last a few weeks ago that she thinks this is the start of the end now and that she does feel different she isn’t in any pain and I’m so happy that she isn’t I find that when I’m with my mum she looks and  stares at me a lot  And I always ask her if she is ok and does she want anything but she just says no I’m fine I’m just looking at you..did you dad do things like this I know everyone is different and I’m sorry if I have upset you asking I just do t really have anyone else to talk to about things as me and my brothers have fallen out so things aren’t great here xx

My dads final 10 days were mainly of sleep. He could still suck bits of water from a straw and turn over himself, until the day before he passed. In fact on Tuesday, I said to him “I bet you’re loving these nurses coming in and moisturising your feet hey dad” and he replied “yer” and smiled. I remember that he would randomly open his eyes and stare at me, then close them again. I feel like he knew it was me and I also feel like he wanted to speak to me but just couldn’t? If that makes sense ? It’s all so surreal. It’s just heartbreaking that there is so much scum on this earth and it’s our lovely parents that get struck with the worst imaginable type of cancer. How is that even fair? ? ? It sounds like your mum is very peaceful and not in any pain. Is she on steroids? Vicky xxx

Hey Vicky omg I completely understand and so agree with you how can loving people go through this when there is people who don’t deserve to live makes me so angry my mum and your dad and everyone else should be livening there life..she most definitely is she is in a home as could stay at home anymore but she is very happy there it breaks my heart leaveing her and I hate it but I always phone her everyone morning her eye site is starting to go now and nothing on her left side works at all Yh Shen is on so many meds her skin is so thin and just bleeds so much if it get cought they wanted to take the steroids down but can’t as she will have seizures the last scan mum had was about 2&half months ago and was told it’s grown and aggressive now they gave mum a few months from then so really the end of this month she just looks so well that I can’t see it coming and I think that’s what I’m finding hard..I try to stay strong for everyone and my 3 girls but it’s so hard xxx

Of course it will break your heart leaving her, she is your mum, the amazing lady who raised you to be the beautiful person you are today. The one who cuddled you when you were upset, made your tea for you every night, tucked you into bed. That love will always remain and I bet you have the most amazing memories and stories to tell of her. Please remember she is safe and comfortable and receiving the care she needs, care that unfortunately, we just can’t always provide, that is the most important thing right now. My dads skin also went like this, any knock or bang he had these red blood blister type bruises, his skin went so sensitive. He was also on steroids until the end which I think must have kept the swelling around the tumour down, keeping the pain away. Nothing can ever prepare you for this. All I do is cry. It’s so easy for people to tell you to remember the good times, when right now I can’t get this image of my poor helpless dad out of my head:(. My kids keep me distracted from thinking about everything, but only for so long, then it’s back and won’t leave my head? Now, I am looking for songs for his funeral and thinking of what stories I can tell about him. I wonder what we’ve all done to deserve this. I wish we had more answers, but I fear we never will and we have no choice but to just accept what is happening.

Hold your mums hand, snuggle her in, keep her comfy, I am confident she will slip away peacefully when she is ready to and there will be no suffering or pain. She will go to a kinder place, like my dad. 

It is all so surreal. Sometimes I think I’m going to wake up from this nightmare and things will go back to normal, but I still haven’t.

Sending all my love and hugs and thinking of you at this extremely hard time xxxxx

Hi there, I'm sorry to hear that you are both are going through such a tough time, and anyone else who has dealt with this hideous disease that takes you by surprise, it was October just gone that I lost my dad who had just turned 51 and I was only just 25.

In truth nothing does prepare you for the worst, the real thing that gave me happiness was spending as much time as possible with my best friend, if I didn't want to go to work to spend more precious time with my dad that's just what I did as i knew it could come to an end at any point, and now I look back and I am more relieved that I did, unfortunately for my dad it wasnt the tumour that got him in the end, he had sustained clots in his legs in which travelled due to being paralysed on one side and the lack of exercise, our time was shorter shorter than we ever expected as his last scan had been very positive as his tumour had not grown at all, but who knows, on the flip side it could have been for the best as this cancer does all sorts of strange stuff.  

I'd love to say everything will be fine, and there are miracle cases but just enjoy every day to its fullest.

Hi, I’m so sorry for your loss. 51 is no age. My dad was 52. Your right though, nothing at all can ever prepare you. Amazing that you spent so much quality time with your dad when you could, you will cherish those memories forever.

please can I ask you, does this pain ease with time ? at the moment, I just feel lost, heartbroken and cannot stop crying xxx 

Hi

In answer to your question I can only describe how I feel which my or may not be the same on your side. My dad was my best friend as well as dad so the relationship between us was great but it was a double blow when all this happened, I had to arrange the funeral more so myself and take a lead as it was a great struggle for my mum, more to the answer is your memory seems more inclined to hold on to those last moments when in truth they arent the ones it should be holding on to, I still think about him every day and some days it makes me tear up, but others it makes me proud and lucky to have what we did have, I still wish he was here of course but as time goes on some of those better memories start to take over and not the dark last few months you may have had, I have a lovely wife who had just lost her grandma shortly after the diagnosis of my dad and we dealt with it together, some days you would be instantly angry at the world but other days you are just grateful that you was able to enjoy a life with such great parents. That guy feeling of lost inside will stay but you will begin to look back and smile, opposed to shedding buckets out your eyes.

As I say, unfortunately that's life. 

I’m so sorry to hear all the sad comments on this post. My husband had a bleed 6 weeks ago , we were told he had a large tumour and small ones in all parts of his brain with only weeks to live . No treatment was offered as it had progressed to quickly. Only 7 weeks ago we were a normal family, enjoying and planning our life’s . My husband is only 67 it’s to quick we feel we can’t get our heads around it . It’s such a cruel way to die. It truly tests your faith he knows what’s wrong and how it will end . He’s the bravest person I’ve every met and I don’t know what to do 

I’m so sorry to hear all the sad comments on this post. My husband had a bleed 6 weeks ago , we were told he had a large tumour and small ones in all parts of his brain with only weeks to live . No treatment was offered as it had progressed to quickly. Only 7 weeks ago we were a normal family, enjoying and planning our life’s . My husband is only 67 it’s to quick we feel we can’t get our heads around it . It’s such a cruel way to die. It truly tests your faith he knows what’s wrong and how it will end . He’s the bravest person I’ve every met and I don’t know what to do