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mesothelioma developing quickly

Wendders
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Hi All, 

I've not done anything like this before, but everyone always says to take the help that's there.  So here goes.  

My Dad was diagnosed with this terrible disease just 5 weeks ago.  Since he got out of hospital 3 wks ago he has gone downhill rapidly.  He is now confined to bed, far too weak to manage stairs.  He hasn't eaten a bite in 5 days although he still manages fluids  (We help him hold his cup/glass).  He has a syringe driver insitu.  We can help him to stand to use the urinal and help him transfer to the commode.  He has had Cheyne Stoke breathing for past 4 nights.  GP  told us he suspected my dad didn't have very long left due to his respiratory rate (in the 40's when wakened) and the re-accumulation of fluid in his lung - this was 4 nights ago.

Here's the big question.  Has anyone seen these symptoms so quickly?   Has anyone had a loved one suffer these symptoms for any great length of time?  I'm a bit confused (but very grateful) as my dad denies any great pain and I had read that this is a painful illness.  

I'd be grateful if anyone could tell me if they've known of anyone to stay at the stage my dad is at, for more than a week or two.

Thank you for reading xx

  • Offline in reply to Wendders

    Hi Wenders

    Sounds as though your Dad is quite 'the fighter' but am pleased that for the majority of the time he is comfortable.  As loved ones that is a small help.  His emotional struggles are of course understandable and though difficult to observe it just goes to show how much you all mean to each other.  My hubby found it difficult throughout his illness to deal with the emotional side not wanting to break down around us and we had to give him some 'alone time' to help him with this(and us if I am honest) . He appreciated our understanding but it was still  hard and lead to a lot of inner soul searching along the way. Take care. Jules 

  • Offline in reply to jules54
    Thanks again Jules. I've only just seen your last post. Dad is still with us and continues to be very emotional. He definitely doesn't want to leave us. We don't want him to leave us either but I can't bear to watch him suffer. He hasn't eaten a thing in 7 days now and is only taking sips of fluid. I pray God ends his suffering soon. We all love him so much, it's breaking our hearts. Xxx
  • Offline in reply to Wendders

    Hi Wendders

    Difficult days for sure and it is sometimes amazing how the strength of the mind appears to overcome the weakness of the body.  So hard to observe the emotional and physical sufferring with heartstrings pulled as there is no easy outcome as you all want to keep each other close.

    With both my Dad (some good few years ago now and his final request was to be 'alone' at his given moment) and with my hubby (who kept asking when I would be going to bed, as if he wished to be by himself though I stayed silent by his side until he asked a question to which I gave an appropriate answer just before he slipped away) I felt the mixed emotions of fear, love, anger and a little release before I was able to give way to greiving.

    My thoughts are with you as you ask for guidance at this time.  Virtual hugs.  Jules

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi.  It's me again.  Dad is still with us.  He is nothing short of miraculous.  We all knew he was very special but his strength has blown us away.  My dad is now 8 weeks bedbound, over 5 weeks without eating and we've now entered the FOURTEENTH (yes 14!) day with no fluid.  He is no longer conscious.  Yesterday morning/early afternoon we could hear his secretions but Buscopan and position change helped with this.  The last 24 hours have seen his breathing very shallow but he is no longer Cheyne Stokes breathing (Which he has been doing for the last 8 weeks).  He is an absolute wonder!  We are all wishing him peace now.  I don't know of anyone who has had a similar journey to Dad.  We've thought he was capable of taking his last breath for 2 months now.  I pray to God that his suffering will come to an end very soon. Xx.

  • Offline in reply to Wendders

    Hi wendders 

    your dads a fighter & doesn’t want to leave you yet. I’m pretty sure they have some say in when they’re ready to let go. X 

    you must be exhausted mentally & physically 

    i held my mums hand whilst she passed 7 years ago & thankfully for me those signs that death is near only lasted for 1 day (my nerves were in bits) so I can’t imagine how you & your family are coping 

    sending love, calming & peaceful thoughts for you all x x 

  • Offline in reply to Wendders

    Sorry for delayed response. In limited wifi area on hols. Your Dad is amazing as are you and his family. I pray that peace will be within you all soon. Hugs. Jules

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