All you need mate, is to be 'sufficient to the moment'. Don't try to 'be strong', accept and express and share each emotion as it occurs. Being strong and 'holding things in' will cause you stress and make you ill.

You'll find that, as well as having moments of sadness or despair, you'll also be able to smile and laugh.

When everything is in the open, the sting is drawn and it ceases to have power over you

Best Regards

Taff

It is good that this is out in the open.  You all now have time to talk openly to Mum.  What would have happened if she had passed without your Dad having had a chance to say goodbye?

You now have the chance to discuss with her all her wishes and celebrate her life.

My thoughts are with your family

David

Hi there and so sorry to hear your mums diagnosis ... she sounds a wonderfull mum, who even with that news still wants it easier for you all ... 

I second all that taff has said ... it is so true to just go with how you feel in the moment ... it's about balance ... too strong or too weak doesn't help in the long rung .... 

Make the most of the time you have ... as a family together ... maybe your mum still has something she wants to do ... you can ask her about her childhood, teenage years ... have lots of hugs, share a few tears ... leave nothing unsaid .. and it's o.k for everyone to admit they are scared ... if you can all come together as one ... you can all walk this journey holding your mum's hand ... and I'm sure your dad will need you all later ... and like taff says, if you can do this, you will have times to smile, and even laugh and those memories will stay in your heart forever ... 

Take every day as a bonus, grab it with both hands .... you can do this ... you are stronger then you realise ... sending you all a big hug ...  chrisie

Hey all, I'm sorry I didn't get back to say thank you for your replies. But thank you.

My Mum passed away this morning, it happened a lot quicker than we all expected. I feel kind of numb at the moment, I went upstairs talked to her and kissed her goodbye although she was already gone. I also took a picture of her face which I'm not sure is appropriate and feel wierd for doing so.

The thing that's hurting the most is my eldest brother was just driving down after not seeing her for about 8 years, he's coming down anyway and my Dad really wants to see him and so do I.

The people who took her away were lovely, they tried taking her out in the most dignified way possible but with the tight angles of the house I could see they were struggling so felt like I needed to help, my Mum was pretty heavy by the end.

In some ways I feel relief as she's finally free and in another way I don't know if it's actually hit me yet.

Thanks for listening and the advice all x

Hi Mhemming, 

I just saw your post and wanted to offer my sincerest condolences on the passing of your mum this morning and let you know my thoughts are with you at this time.

It will take a while for this to sink in but we will be here to help you on this journey and I'm sure our members will be along soon to offer their support and advice.

Kind regards, 

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Oh hunny , l remember when my mum passed ... what should l be feeling ... how should I act ... what should I do .. I felt like I was watching it on telly, and I wasn't me ... after seeing her gone and in the car on the way home, I couldn't understand why or how everything outside looked normal ... why didn't everything just stop ...

Over the years I've learned there's no right or wrong way to feel ... just go with any feeling you have in the moment your in ...if you feel numb, it's your body trying to make sense of the world ... if you wanna scream sometime, scream, if you feel calm, you need those times ... no two people feel the same ... all I would say is live in the day .. do what you have to do, feel what you want to feel ..

I think your brother is gonna need you now .. when it hits him, she's gone, and he can't take those years back ...can't build bridges ... but tell him, trying to get there , that's what counts ... and if your mum's anything like me , she'd put her arms around him, no matter the past ... our children are always our babies ...  and nothing my son's can ever do, would stop me loving them ... 

So hold on to each other, know you May all feel Streesed show it in different ways ... just hold on to each other now,and l can see your mum look down, with a smile to see you all together ...

Always here ... Chrissie 

[@Mhemming]‍ 

So Sorry to hear about your mum. 

Sounds like you have been amazing. 

My mum is dying of SCLC. And is sleeping all the time.

It is so hard. I wish I could say something meaningful. But alas nothing seems to be enough.

Fondest wishes to you and yours

Bex.

Thank you for your wishes all. It's a strange day, as I said I feel numb but feeling hopeful for the future. I know my Mum wouldn't want us worrying.

Tomorrow we're going to see our extended family and my Dad is looking forward to it which is going to be great for him.

Bex - Thanks for your wishes and I'm sorry to hear about your Mum, I know this is probably meaningless but one of the main comforts I've found is Mum is at peace when she was sleeping. There isn't much more I can say apart from just open your heart to your loved ones, it's helped me hugely.

Take care and if you want to talk please let me know, you're not alone x