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The end is near

emily00
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Hello people reading this, I am not really sure where to start. A bit of background information...My grandad was diagnosed with stage 3 liver cancer last July which has now spread to other major organs and bones in his body, stage 4. He is now not eating anything and drinking very little which has led to him being bed bound  

I guess I am writing this because I feel so helpless. It hurts so much seeing him constantly in pain with every move and seeing him so weak. We were told last week that he has 2 weeks left after being told previously the week before he had 1 month. It has all come as such a sudden shock and the thought of losing him so soon just seems completely petrifying. At only 17 years old it seems overwhelming that I am losing one of my best friends and biggest inspirations at such a young age, it just doesn’t seem right. I wonder whether I am writing all this on this page for some reassurance or whether I am just completely lost in this chaos. I am just wishing to talk to someone who actually understands and this seemed like the most apt place to post. I am not seeking pity just a few words. I just want someone who understands me properly. Sorry if this isn’t what this page is for :( 

Emily x

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    Hi there Emily .... Bless ya, this is the place to post ...  We'll there's no easy way round this journey your on with your granddad... But one you an make more bearable just by being there ... Holding his hand ...

    My heart goes out to you, as I have grade 3 breast cancer and I'm only on tamoxifen as my bones are so weak I don't think they would take radio therapy ... So I'm just living every day and take it as a gift ... I love this gift of time as my granddaughter (pictured) her name is Emily and she's my world and only 6 ... She makes me laugh every day I'm with her ... And if anything happens to me, I want her to remember the laughter ... I'm sure your granddad would want that too ... 

    So take every day, and remember even if he looks different and in pain, he's still there and even when they can't speak they say you still can hear ... So trust me your not helpless sometimes we don't need gestures just a hand to hold ... And if he loves you like I love Emily he won't leave you, he'll live right there in your heart .... Any time you want to chat, theres always someone here to offer a shoulder... That's what this little chat room is for ... Sending you a big vertual hug little Emily ... Take care chrisie xx

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    Hi Emily I’m sort of in the same situation as you I’m 26 I’ve lived with my nan since being 6 weeks old she had breast cancer just under 5 years ago had till this November to be all done with tests etc and she’s now got it back in numerous places she cannot be cured now :( I am mortified the same as you because she is bed bound and is getting so weak. I totally understand where you’re coming from with every move my nan is also in pain aswell it’s horrible to see it...the morphiene is getting increased on a weekly basis and when I’m speaking to her sometimes it doesn’t feel like I’m speaking to my nan. I am so frightened to lose her I’m constantly on google and looking at symptoms to give me and idea how long I have with her :( all I can say is spend a lot of time with him ask him if there’s anything you can do etc sit with him and talk ️ Xxxx
  • Offline in reply to Chriss

    Hi Chrisie, I am really sorry that you have been struck so horribly, it truly is so so cruel. Your granddaughter looks so lovely too. Thank you so much for your kind words they really do help to ease my mind and not feel so alone in all this. 

    Take care yourself

    Emily :)

  • Offline in reply to stacey2018

    Hi Stacey, I am so sorry to hear about your Nan; it is so saddening. My grandad is on morphine too that is having to be increased as well but part of me wonders if all the medication just contributes to his weakness. It all just seems to be a never ending cycle. He seems so distant all the time and far away. Thank you for your reply I really do appreciate it knowing there’s people there in the same situations. 

    Emily :)

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    Hi Emily, I thought I would give you some words of encouragment since you helped me on my post. I know this is a very sad time for you and these situations are just aweful. But I believe people's souls live on after they have passed away and I think your granfather will always be at your side no matter what. Since you gyus were so close, his soul will always be attached to you. It's hard only being 17 and losing a best friend because at that age you go through so much already. I think this situation will make you a stronger person and one day, you will be able to use that strength. I envy people who don't have any troubles like this, but at the same time, experience a love like that is a wonderful feeling, even if you have to lose it. It really makes you appreciate your loved ones and loving someone or being someone's best friend really has a new meaning. Many take that for granted, I know I did. I wish nothing but the best for you and just know your grandfather will always love you and will pass away peacefully. 

    Cassidy xx

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