Hello everybody, my mum lives in the USA and was diagnosed with terminal oesophageal cancer which had spread to her liver around 2 months ago.  I went to visit her and was horrified to see how thin and skeletal she had become in such a short space of time.  I cared for her 24 hours/day as best I could but I wasn't prepared mentally, emotionally or physically to deal with how quick she deteriorated.  Due to her condition, we were unable to bring her back to the UK and reluctantly had to say goodbye to her and leave her in the hands of carers/hospice staff who I am in contact with every day.  I am struggling every waking moment with feelings of extreme sadness and guilt at not being there for her and keep breaking down in private.  This has to be one of the cruellest diseases in the world and I pray that one day there will be a breakthrough in finding a cure so that others don't have to go through this.