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My mum has terminal cancer

GeorgiaD
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Hi my mum was diagnosed with kidney cancer 3 years ago and kidney was removed, she has had many radiotherapy sessions because of tumours growing places and all seemed fine, recently I found out she is terminal and I hate everyone talking about it as selfish as it sounds :( she seems so fine to me and I just can’t imagine her ever leaving me? I really cannot cope the thought of it and can’t stop crying all the time I feel so stupid and selfish but I really don’t know what I’l do without her:( I don’t really like speaking about it as I just think she’s okay she always tells me she isn’t going anywhere and she’s fine. 

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    Hi Georgia my mum also has terminal lung cancer stage 4, mum was diagnosed in September 2016 given 6 months too live, my world fell apart I’m an only child and we are very close she’s my best friend, I had a breakdown on meds now, mums had chemo which shrunk tumour, then tried immunotherapy that didn’t work, so another round of chemo is being given now, take each day as it comes, spend time with mum try and stay strong, it’s hard so very hard, your mum wouldn’t want to see you upset or think you can’t cope they try to be strong for us, sometimes I think I’m so selfish for wanting her to keep going when she’s in pain, the ups & downs are awful I just try and keep her strong saying positive things when inside I’m crying
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    Thinking of you and your mum at this very difficult time. I once worked in a hospital taking care of terminally ill patients. This sounds crazy I know, but we had great fun with some of them who had a humourous view of life and death. Don't be afraid to use your sense of humour and have a laugh with your Mum if she is up for that. Ask her about her life, to share some more wisdom with you... Tell her you love her every day and find even small things to share with her. Life really does go on with a terminal diagnosis - up to the very end, people can be interested in your day, want to feel cared for and loved, want to share their experience and their thoughts on life and death. Try to be normal as much as you can with your Mum - this is a special time and if you can be there with her now it will definitely help you both. Good luck!

  • Offline in reply to angiejh

    Hey thank you for your comment, yeah I feel exactly the same I get days where I feel selfish but I just really do r know how I’d cope without her she’s also my best friend! It’s the worst thing in the world and you feel the only person in the world that’s going through this horrific pain right? It was only until I wrote on here I truly realised it wasn’t just me as silly as that sounds? I find it really hard to talk about it and tend to bottle a lot up but coming on here and reading other people’s stories gives me a little hope! Sending you lots of love to you and your mum x

  • Offline in reply to Ger

    Thank you so much for your lovely comment, I bet that was so hard! But a truly lovely thing for you to do! Yeah my mum acts so normal around me which is what makes it hard? I do prefer that course I do and I truly believe she isn’t going anywhere when I’m with her because she reassures me but it’s when others “pity” me and say how do you cope etc makes me think what are they on about my mum is fine? I mean that in the nicest way possible? Without sounding like people annoy me asking questions because they don’t and it’s lovely they care but when they ask me how I cope etc makes me think the worst! And yeah your so right I will definitely take your advice because my mum is a jokey person and would much rather me be normal as possible thank you xxx

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