Hello and welcome.  This doesn't sound selfish at all.  It sounds a very frightening situation in which you are trying to do your best for your very sick Dad.  Why do you think your Dad doesn't want you there?  When my Dad was dying I just sat and talked about things that we had always talked about - by which I mean that I talked mostly and kept it fairly quiet.  Is your Dad scared of dying do you think?  Do your mum and yourself ask him about how he feels?  I realise I am just guessing here.  I know it can be hard to keep yourself calm when you are feeling distressed inside.

I cannot see any reason why you should not continue your work from home in the mornings while your Mum is at the hospital with your Dad.  Please do not beat yourself up.  Having lost your sister two years ago I can only imagine what you are now going through. 

As you say it is unclear what is going to happen next.   It sounds as though your Dad is slowing down gradually.  Hard as it is I think you have to just go with things as they happen.   So be kind to yourself, and work with your mum to support each other.  No, I don't think it a good idea for you to be there 24 hours a day; far too stressful and you wouldn't be helping your father ultimately. 

I am sorry I cannot give you the clear advice you are seeking but I do want to say you are clearly doing a good job in very difficult circumstances.  If you wish you could ring the nurses here (Mon-Fri 9-5) on 0808 808 4040 or alternatively MacMillan Cancer Support on 080 808 0000 - these are both Freefone numbers.  MacMillan will advise people caring for cancer patients.  Please also keep in touch here if you would like to do so.

It was very touching to read your post, my dad has just been taken off chemo as his liver is too damaged to cope. I live in France and although I was here today for this devastating step i'm so confused about whether to come back or not. I do know he would not want me to give up my life and I also know that he will want his own time and space but I can't help feeling selfish about getting back on that plane and disappearing again. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and good luck xxx

Hello, I go through a similar situation, my mother has a rare breast cancer, she was treating herself in the hospital and coming home but today she was hospitalized to start another treatment. I feel that even doing everything I can I'm being selfish, I do college full time and even if I need to rest and distract sometimes it seems that this is very wrong, because while doing other things my mother is sick and can not do the same things that I. She tells me to go out with my boyfriend and friends but every time I do it I feel terrible