Sorry to read about your mum.  It is frustrating that our parents are fallible human beings; we expect them to be strong and guide us but of course it does not always happen like that.  I can imagine that you are going through the whole range of emotions.  I think it  is okay for you to feel anger but I have no ideas on how to help reconcile all these opposing emotions banging into each other.  I am sure you want to help your dad who is probably having his own issues about what has now happened.  I wanted to post as I am sorry you did not get a response over the Christmas period until Steph picked it up but I have no great words of wisdom.  Only to say I am thinking of you and hope you will keep us informed (if you so wish).