I am so sorry to hear all the stories here and wish everyone some peace in this nightmare. I can strongly relate to what some of you are going through and just wanted to share my situation - I know no-one can change anything but any advice on how to cope would be very much appreciated. 

My husband had a Whipples op (13th July) after diagnosis of ampullary cancer and subsequent histology showed it had spread to 10/44 lymph nodes. It's now in his liver and he's having chemo, Cisplatin and gemcitabine on a 3 weekly cycle. We've been told there are 20 secondaries and just can't believe it. He coped so well with the operation, which is utterly horrific, and has been feeling well enough to play golf 2 or 3 times a week - we even went away to Italy for a short break in September. He doesn't feel sick and is eating well and maintaining his weight. I am veering from cautious optimism to utter despair in the space of a few minutes and feel constantly on the verge of screaming/banging my head/punching someone... The consultant told us a likely scenario of 12 months. How can this be true? We've had 30 years together and he is my world. He's being very pragmatic and wants to get everything sorted for when he's 'not around' and I just can't bear it. We have 3 grown up sons and are such a close family. I feel heartbroken for the boys that they're going to lose their Dad and that he won't see them marry or have children. We had so many plans and I don't know how I'm going to live without him. Thank you for listening.