Hi Buffy,

Welcome to Cancer Chat. I am so sorry that you are having to cope with all this when you are expecting.

It does sound as if you are pretty close to the end stages. The rattle you are describing sounds like the'death rattle'. It can subside from time to time. You will also note that her feet start to get cold and then it spreads up her legs, likewise her hands and arns. It is possible that the medication given by the nurse has made her even sleepier than she was before, but it should help to make her passing more peaceful.

I know just how heartbreaking it is to watch this happen. I lost my own Mum to breast cancer metastases several years ago. She survived for 12 years and it was only in her final year that she was told about her secondaries in liver, lungs, bones and brain. Sadly, she deteriorated very quickly after that. It was really harrowing to watch.

I do hope that she has a peaceful passing. I know that this sounds an awful thing to say, but when you've come so far through her cancer journey, I am sure that,  like me, you will have no wish to see her linger with no quality of life.

Please keep us in the loop. There is always someone here for you whenever you feel like talking.

I am thinking of and praying for you both.

kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Buffy 

I am going thought the same at the moment, mum only diagnosed 2 weeks ago so very fast for my mum she, like been said the death rattle comes and goes, eyes half open, will never get over this, keep telling mum to drift off to the pearly gates as we call it, she just smiled she ain't ready yet, I am just enjoying the remaining time, as hard as it is mum will go when she feels ready sending much love at this horrible time cancer has a lot to answer for xx

Hi Skyrock,

Your poor Mum. Getting a diagnosis just two weeks ago and being at this stage so quickly, must be heart-breaking for her and your family. What type of cancer does she have?

She is obviously not ready to go through the pearly gates just yet, but she will go in her own good time. We found it very difficult to keep any sort of uplifting conversation going with Mum at this stage, because it was all one-way conversation. She dozed in and out all day, but found it very difficult to speak at the end. Still we were glad to be with her right to the end.

I am thinking of and praying for you all at this harrowing time.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

I'm so sorry to be reading this about your mum. I know this was posted a week ago so I'm not too sure if anything has changed since then. But once the death rattle starts death usually occurs soon after. 

My Dad died last month and I was told by my mum he had a chest infection. So I went to visit them and as soon as I walked into the room I knew instantly he had the 'death' rattle. It was very alarming. Sounds like gurgling water or blowing bubbles in water but a lot louder. I pulled my mum to one side to explain what the sound actually is. After an hour a nurse came and gave him an injection to quieten down the secretions at the back of the throat. Just over 2 hours later he died. 

X 

Hi Butterfly,

I am so sorry to hear that your Dad died last month and want to offer my sincere condolences on your loss.

My Mum was in a hospice at the end. She had only been there for 3 days. The nurse who was on duty asked me what sort of person my Mum was. She said that she thought that Mum was suffering a lot more than she was letting on. I agreed with her, as Mum was a real stoic.

She gave Mum an injection and she died within 2 hours.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Buffy,

I have been thinking of you and your family all week and wondering how you are coping?

Just remember I am always here if you want to talk. If you're not ready yet, don't worry. I'll hear from you when you are able to.

Take care.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx