Hi Zoelouisee,

Welcome to Cancer Chat, although I’m sorry that you have to find yourself here.

I am so sorry to hear about your Mum’s recent diagnosis. This must be really upsetting for you, especially when you have no other siblings to help you out. My Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer. She coped with that for 11 years before she developed metastases in liver, lungs, breast, brain and bones. She died in her 12th year. It was heart-breaking to watch someone we loved so dearly deteriorate in front of our eyes.

We did everything we could to save her, but it wasn’t to be. We found it better to deal with matters on a day-to-day basis – it was just too much to deal with the bigger picture all at once. I am glad to hear that you are getting a hospital bed delivered this week. It is so much better to be able to keep her at home if you can.

I had the same problem as you in respect of my work. I ran a business on my own and had to be able to keep this running. Visiting my Mum involved a plane trip, so I could only manage to be there every weekend.  At the very end I managed to get someone else to take over my work for a few weeks and I spent those precious weeks with my lovely Mum. I am glad to hear that your employers are sympathetic to your plight.

You are young to have to deal with all this. Do you still have your Dad at home, and, if so, how is he coping?

Please keep us informed about how things are going. There is always someone here to talk to whenever you feel like it.

Thinking of you and your Mum and praying that you will get the strength to cope with all this.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

My heart goes out to you ... I felt 35 was too young when my mum left ... She went suddenly with a heart attack so no time even to say good bye ... So many people are going through someone they love having cancer (myself included) so maybe your boss or someone at work will let you have this time with your mum ....

I know if my treatment doesn't work l have asked to go into a hospice as they are all so kind there an they make the most of every day .... It's a lot different then you might think ... We love our children so very much it would break my heart to see them suffering so ... 

If you do get your mum home just remember how McMillan an Marie curie can help ... They are just a phone call away ... There's always someone there even if you just want to chat .... Please reach out as the helps there if we just reach out. ... 

Sending you my thoughts an a big hug. Xx. 

Hello,

Sorry to hear your news.

The hospital bed arrived this morning. She's coming home in the next hour or so. It just seems soreal now.

We've already got a zimma frame and commode as mum was struggling with mobility before hand but it's worse now hence getting a hospital bed.

There's only me and mum at home. I'm use to the sleepless nights already due to insomnia. Work have been really good. I'm allowed on half days 7am-2pm. As going on sick just wouldn't be manageable with the cost of living, but I know I'll be going on sick closer the time.

Mum's in denial and wants to keep fighting which is heart breaking because I don't want her to keep suffering (that sounds so awful but I don't mean it in a bad way)

Thank you for your message x

Hi Zoelouisee,

I am glad to hear that your work has been so understanding and that you have managed to reduce your hours. Can your Mum cope on her own for the time you are at work?

If there are any problems, are you aware that you can get help from MacMillan? This is a lot to undertake  on your own. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. You are no good to your Mum if you fall ill, so don't be too proud to accept help.

It's good to hear that the hospital bed has arrived. I  presume that your Mum is home by now and I am sure that she is happy to be back with you again.

I am sorry to hear about your parents split, but am sure that your Dad must still be pretty upaet - 33 years is a long time to know somebody.Please keep in touch as and when you have time. I am always here if you feel like talking.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

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