I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. I was in your shoes 17 weeks ago to the day and know exactly how you're feeling. Hope you're holding up okay, sending love and hugs xx

My mum passed away last night. 

I really am completely broken, I have no idea what to do with myself. 

I don't think she was in any pain at the end but it's so hard to know.

i would give anything to have her back with me. 

Any advice on how to go on? 

I am so so sorry to hear about your loss. I know exactly what you're going through... you'd think I had the best advice having gone through it myself, but there really are no words, it's the most heartbreaking time full of questions that can't be answered. For me that has been one of the most frustrating things... how, why? I'll never know. It sounds cliched but you will cope... you find a way somehow. The first few days my family and I stumbled about trying to keep busy, make plans and see other family and friends. I went back to work about 3 weeks later, which I think helped. Had I sat about at home I think I would have coped worse, and I know mum wouldn't have wanted me doing that. 

I try to remind myself of mum's strength, and how amazing she was throughout her journey. And that if she could get up and face her days with this illness the least I can do is try and carry that on. She was only 57. And knowing she didn't suffer terribly and is at peace brings a lot of comfort. Of course I have moments, I cry a lot and have moments where it hits me... it doesn't appear to be getting any easier... my advice for now is just feel what you're feeling, don't question it, write your thoughts and feelings down and give yourself time... be kind to yourself. Your health and wellbeing is so important right now, take care of yourself as best you can. 

It's difficult... please drop me a message if you want to chat further xx

Thank you for your message.

I really have no words to describe how I am feeling. I keep talking to her out loud with the hope she will answer or at least hear me. I can't imagine never seeing her beautiful face again. I so confused, where is she? I know she has passed but surely that can't be that? She must be somewhere? 

All I can see is her lying in that bed, I can't get the image out of my head and keep thinking I should have done more. 

I honestly can't bear this

Dear Chrissie,

On behalf of everyone at Cancer Chat, I'd like to pass on our sincere condolences to you at this difficult time.

Also, there is a page on our website about coping with grief I wanted to share with you, to read more please click here. I hope this can help a little. 

Best wishes,

Renata
Cancer Chat moderator