Hi David, 

I'm really sorry about your mum's incurable diagnosis. You will go through so many emotions over the upcoming months so don't feel guilty or ashamed at times. All you can do for her is support her the best way you can, help out around the house or with other tasks and spend as much time as you can with her. Create some special moments, take some nice photos and if possible arrange some family days out or days in at home. Because they will matter to you all one day and will be memories you will be thankful for and cherish. I know your mum has been given a year to live but try not to concentrate on that time scale by counting down. These are often estimates going by statistics of others in the same situation. But many outlive their time scales whether its by months or even years. 

I'm 28, my dad was diagnosed when I was 26 with stage 4 incurable bowel cancer which has spread to his lungs and liver and was given 2 years. Two years later, his cancer has unfortunately spread to his brain and a mass has been found behind his left eye. My dad has days to weeks left to live. I also have a brother who has just turned 26 a few weeks ago. And I have an older sister too. I am so thankful to have spent the past 2 years creating memories, taking photos and some videos because I will have that forever. Some people don't get that chance. So I will always be thankful for that reason that I've had the chance to spend it wisely with my Dad and tell him how much I love him. 

Things take time, when my dad was diagnosed my world fell apart. It took months to start to feel a bit more myself again. Everyone is different. And I guess the same thing applies once they are no longer here. 

Take care and if you want a chat feel free to message me. 

Hi puds, thanks so much for your reply. I'm glad to hear you're doing well after a similar diagnosis. I'm hopeful that there's still a lot that can be done. She starts her first round of chemo on Monday. I feel like she's already writing herself off so we're trying to be positive for her. She's taken it very very hard. Thanks again and sending you best wishes for the future. 

Hello David, I am so sorry to hear about your mum. I had triple negative breast cancer last year and so far so good. The anxiety hardly ever goes away though, about it returning. Just to lift you up a bit, my friend Mandy was diagnosed with the same as your mum, many years ago and told she had a life expectancy of possibly six months. It had spread to her liver, stomach lining and bones. Mandy lived a further ten years so I hope your mum does too! You may have heard that Olivia Newton John`s breast cancer has returned after a 20 year absence. She is accepting orthodox treatment as well as CBD (Cannabis oil.) I wish your mum love, light and a much longer life than predicted. Keep the faith! Helen. xxx

Hi Itachi13, 

I noticed you were wanting to find out where to get cannabis oil so I just wanted to stop by and let you know that it is illegal in the UK. We also have a blog post about this on our website which explains that there isn’t currently enough reliable evidence to prove that cannabinoids can effectively or safely treat cancer patients, although research is ongoing.

If you would like to talk about this with our cancer nurses do give them a call on their freephone number 0808 800 4040. They're available Monday - Friday between 9a.m -5p.m.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Helen,

Thank you so much for your message. It's really good to hear that your friend outlived her diagnosis by so long. And I'm also glad to hear you're doing well after your diagnosis. It's been nearly a week since the shock of that news and we're just starting to get to grips it with and start to look at it more positively. My mum keeps thinking months ahead so I'm trying to keep her in the present and tell her to only focus on her next appointment. I think it's helping me too in attempt to retain my sanity! It's really good to hear positive stories like that I think so thank you again and for you well wishes.

Hi puds, thank you for that. I'm starting to realise the one day at a time thing is so important. I'll try to get my mum on here as I think it will really help her to have other people going through the same thing to speak to but she's not the most technically literate person! Her sisters are coming over from Ireland to see her this weekend which I think will give her a good boost before her treatment starts. Thanks again for replying and sharing your positive progress, it really means a lot!