My Dad has days to weeks left to live

My lovely Daddy was diagnosed in April 2015 with stage 4 incurable bowel cancer which had also spread to his lungs and liver. So from the start we realised that one day he would die from this cancer. He was given about 2 years to live when he was diagnosed. 

Fast forward 2 years, april this year we found out the cancer has now travelled to his brain and a mass was also found behind his left eye. My dad's brain was operated on in kings college hospital in London and they managed to drain some fluid but that's about it. 4 weeks ago he was taken to the local hospice for respite to give my mum a break for 5 days. We were then told he wouldn't be coming out and only has days to live. That was 3 weeks ago and the doctor at the hospice has said he's still only got days to weeks to live but is allowed home to be in his surroundings. We are fully aware this is where he may die now. He is fully bed ridden due to severe nerve damage so isn't even able to sit in a wheelchair and go outside. He sleeps 80% of the day. When he's awake he keeps his eyes mainly shut, when he does open them they look a bit vacant as if he's looking somewhere else or right through you. He mainly talks a load of rubbish that makes no sense at all. He occasionally talks sense and gets things right like who we are etc. He can't eat solid foods no more, as he simply can't swallow. He only eats jelly, icecream or yoghurt. Sometimes he can't even sip from a straw as it's too much effort so we have to dampen his mouth with these sponges the hospice provides. I'm only 28 and feel robbed my Dad won't be here in the future. I'm so scared of what's to come. We are just waiting for that day to arrive now :'-( 

  • It is very hard I know. I lost my mum 2 years ago but I was privileged to have been able to do all her care in her last months yes it was hard and heart breaking but just being there with her gave me strength when she went. I miss her every hour of every day and now that I also have cancer I miss her even more in fact I get angry in a way that she isn't here to help me through this. 

     

    Don't think of it as waiting for him to pass just spend time with him and tell him you love him even if that isn't the way you usually spoke to each other it doesn't matter just take pleasure in sitting with him. When the time comes it will be hard and upsetting but remember the good times.  Xx

  • :( I'm feeling so lost about my dad too right now. I'm 34 :(