The end days of lung cancer is not pleasant at all and very distressing to watch and see a loved one deterioate so quickly. My dad passed away yesterday from lung cancer it was horrific, he was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in may there was nothing that could be done he went downhill very quickly was unable to swallow from friday so was put on the syringe driver which put him in a painfree sleep. X

I'm very sorry to hear about your Dad. I'm surprised to hear so many stories of how quickly it seems to be from diagnosis to death. At least your dad isn't suffering any more; small comfort, I know.

Thanks for replying at this sad time for you.

x

Yeah cancer is definetly one of the worst causes of death absolutely horrible :( i miss my dad so much it still hasnt fully sunk in that hes gone ive been grieving for months knowing this was going to happen now it has i just dnt no how to feel other than being relieved he is no longer suffering and finally at peace. But things will never be the same again.

All the best with your dad your in my thoughts and prayers xx

Hi Josepha,

My Mum died of lung cancer. She initially had breast cancer for 12 years, then developed secondaries in Liver, Lungs, Brain and Bone. She had another year after the second diagnosis and failed gradually until the last couple of days when she deteriorated very quickly.

At the end it was very obvious that she was dying and we had time to gather all of the family together. She managed to speak quite clearly, albeit a little slurred, right up to the day before she died. She wasn’t so clear on the last day. I had been with her all day and knew that everything was shutting down by the temperature of her feet and latterly her legs. I had gone outside her room to discuss the fact that the end was near with family members and stated that I would be staying in the hospice with her overnight. We were standing outside her window when I realised that she was no longer breathing.

Watching all this and being so helpless was absolutely heart breaking, so you will need to be strong for your Dad. I can appreciate that it is particularly difficult for you and your brother when your step-mother is not very reliable at keeping you both in the loop and you both have to travel to see him. I am sorry that this is so graphic and hope that it doesn’t upset anyone on this forum, but this should give you some idea of how things progress.  Sadly, no one really knows how long individuals will last and it varies from one person to another.

Animals certainly sense cancer and adapt their habits accordingly. I have heard of this with both cats and dogs.

I hope that you both manage to be with your Dad as he passes. Do keep us in the loop. Remember that there is always someone here if you want to talk.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Josefa,

I can fully understand how you are torn between letting your Dad go and ending his suffering and trying to keep him with you. I felt very much like this with my Mum..

.Some of the doctors have been dealing with cancer patients for years and have a pretty good idea when the end is nigh. Having said that, not all their predictions are accurate. You hear of cases where patients have survived way past their predicted time.

I hope that the PET scan can throw more light on the position.

Thinking of you all.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

I wish I had known end of life signs with my Mum and her lung cancer. She had one round of chemo after immunotherapy didn’t work and that finished her off. I too was in denial. The signs are: withdrawing from loved ones (you said your Dad is), cold hands and feet, not eating, barely having fluids, sleeping a lot (if they can, hospital was impossible to get good sleep in), getting irritable easily and lots of phlegm and trouble swallowing. Please go and see him before it’s too late. The only thing I’m grateful for is that I was with my Mum the whole last week before she passed and was holding her at the time. 

I never ever thought a day like this would arrive. My mums currently suffering from stage 4 bowel cancer that has spread to her lungs and brain. She’s not been able to walk for 2 months due to her balance and has been on an oxygen concentrator for 2 months now, her breathing is laboured and she keeps saying she’s struggling to breathe. All the nurses and Macmillan keep saying we will make her comfortable and she won’t suffer but she is in pain and keeps waking up every 40 minutes to an hour. Has anyone else been through this and can shed any light on how to make it better for her, she keeps saying she’s had enough and to let her go. The pain we are experiencing as a family is unbearable, I’ve never in my life hated something so much as I do cancer! It’s the most degrading and horrible disease. To watch my mum the person who is my absolute rock be taken like this is beyond inhumane. I pray she doesn’t have to suffer much more but at the same time I’m so scared to say goodbye. 

Hi Plilip,

I am so sorry to hear about your mum's situation. I lost my own mum to cancer 21 years ago and have had 2 bouts of breast cancer myself in the past 9 years. At the end, mum's cancer had spread from her breasts to her brain, bones, liver and lungs. They didn't check her lymph nodes then, but I expect that it was there too.

I agree that her final days were totally inhumane - if you saw an animal suffer like that, you would put it down, but, for some strange reason, we allow humans to suffer.

It sounds as if your mum could do with more medicine to control her pain. This may make her sleep more, but should ease her suffering. As a family, you need to insist that her pain is well controlled.

I know just how unbearable and totally heartbreaking it is to watch the one you love suffering so and, understand your mixed feelings about saying goodbye. I must confess that at the end, I was relieved for my mum to be eased of all pain, although I still miss her dearly every day.

I sincerely hope that her medical team can help your mum out.

Kind regards,

Jolamine

Hi,

first of all I’m so sorry about your Dad. Please go and see him whilst you can. My Mum had lung cancer and the symptoms of withdrawing and having little interest in you is a sure sign they are nearing the end. I did not know this at the time and just thought she was having some bad days. I was completely in denial and I’m tormenting myself with what I could have done differently and if I could have saved her. The one thing I do have though is I was with her constantly the last week when she was in hospital and held her head as she passed. I did not know even then that was what’s happening and I’m still devastated and broken hearted. It’s been almost 4 months. It happened very suddenly, even the doctors were shocked so to answer your question yes it can be sudden. Hope this helps although I know it’s no comfort.