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dad - bowel cancer

summerlovin
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around 7 months ago my dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer and now it's got to his final stages, he's currently in my local hopsital being treated in intensive care due to respirtory failure

im 17 and i've never dealt with the death of a loved one before so seeing him today in that state i just couldn't cope and walked out the room crying. after about half an hour my aunt came to pick me up and took me home... this left my mum alone at the hospital

idk what to do? i can't cope with seeing him this way but i know that in the future i will regret not seeing him in his final moments, i also feel rather selfish leaving my mum alone with my dad? i just don't know what to do? should i go back up and see him?

he's currently under a LOAD of annastetic and i don't really know if he can tell who is in the room, but i don't want him thinking that i don't love him enough to see him in the last few days (or hours idek) of his life?

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    Welcome to Cancer Chat, summerlovin.

    I'm really sorry to hear about your dad; what a tough time for you and your family. 

    I notice that you posted this message yesterday and wondered if you've managed to speak to someone since, perhaps your mum, auntie or a friend, about how you're feeling?

    From what you say, it sounds as though you are understandably finding seeing your dad looking so poorly very hard. Many people who post on this forum share how devastating it can feel to see a loved one in this way. 

    You mention that you worry you'll regret not seeing him in his final moments, and I wonder if you did decide to go back to the hospital, or not? Please don't feel frightened to ask for support from family or friends if you would like to go back and spend some time with him. 

    Whatever you decide to do, we're here to listen, and we can point you to other people that know how you're feeling, too. I think you might find a website called RipRap helpful, as it's designed for young people to use to get support when a parent has cancer. 

    I hope you are able to do what feels right in your heart, summerlovin. Wishing you all the very best - please do feel free to write back if you would like to.

    Helen

    Cancer Chat Moderator

     

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