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Cancer death

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I lost my partner to rectal cancer 18 days ago....I did so much research regarding the type of cancer and treatments....but never about a death from cancer.  I was not prepared for what I witnessed in his final days...I don't think I will ever forget the struggle he had and how long it lasted....I would not have let my pet suffer as he did but I was helpless and could only be with him in that hospital room....I would never wish anyone to witness a loved one suffer this death....all donations from his funeral will be shared between Crohn's and Colitis U.K. and Cancer Research... a cure must be found.

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    Hi,

    I am so sorry to hear of the death of your partner and offer my sincere sympathy.

    You have had a traumatic time watching him slip away. I agree that you would not let an animal suffer like this. It is so heart breaking to watch someone you love suffering like this. The only solace you must find is that he is at peace now and is no longer suffering.

    I do hope that you received a generous amount from the collection at his funeral as you are donating to two very worthwhile causes.

    Thinking of you and hoping that you are managing to cope with the aftermath.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

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    I am so sorry to hear about the death of your partner and the only comfort you can take is that he is no longer suffering. I lost my son to cancer one month ago. Like you I was obsessed with his cancer and read, researched, daily trying desperately to save my son. We, my daughters and his Dad watched  him suffer for 4 years but by far the worst was his death and like you I cannot get that out of my mind. He struggled even to die and for 23 hours I watched him gasping for every breath .. So wishing each breath would be his last. I was  not prepared for this and feel absoloutely heartbroken and devastated.  We   had  no support from anyone at the hospital  and did   not even realise he would die the last two weeks.  It was the most horrific death for him. 

    I am telling you all this because I understand and feel so much for you.  I even told the nurses at the hospital that you would not let an animal suffer like this.  After a month it's a little easier .. I think of him every minute of every day and always will.  My grief is overwhelming.  But life goes on for the rest of us.  I am trying to remember the happy memories and not his death.  I advise you to take all the bereavement support you can get.  I hope you have a strong supportive family and friends. .. As I do .. Because it helps so much.

    Wishing you peace and comfort. 

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    I am very sorry to read about your partner's death.  Sadly you are not alone.  There is so little dialogue or support about what to expect when someone is dying.  I too researched frantically , desperate to find some reprieve for my husband. I too witnessed my husband's death from cancer a few months ago, and am also deeply traumatised by witnessing his final months and then his horrifying final days.  It was awful and he suffered so much.  It is heartbreaking,.  He had so much trust in me and others that we'd find a way for him to get a bit more time, if not better.

    And all the while, the nursing staff were clueless, and he suffered many avoidable indignities and upsets, the GP was oblivious and insensitive and I felt wretched and helpless. I think it is so important to help those who are dying have a decent death. This is rarely spoken about by the medical profession let alone given any priority.

    And yes a cure is what we wish and pray for, but in the meantime this cruel and unforgiving disease will continue to take many lives, so we also need to help ourselves and loved ones understand about death. Although I don't expect you can ever be quite prepared.

    You say you were there in the hospital room when your partner died.  Many people don't get that chance so I'm sure you did all you could certainly.  It will never feel like enough because that is what love is.

    All the best 

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    I Am so sorry for the loss of your Partner & offer my sincere condolences. I lost my husband 14 days ago & his funeral is tomorrow, he had kidney cancer which had spread, I also slept in his hospital room for 2&1/2 weeks & although I felt despair for him losing his fight I was assisting still to wash, shave & change him as he was asking for me to do it, you do feel very helpless because all throughout his illness we had hope that a new treatment would emerge & give him more time, I also feel the hospital were absolutely superb the ward H2 & the Pallative care team made sure his death was pain free & dignified & also looked after me every step of the way, I cannot thank them enough, although it was horrific to see the love of your life, my best friend slowly losing his life with pain pumps & dedicated staff I felt he could not have been cared for any better 

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