It is not your fault. I am watching my mum die at 60 from smoking (small cell lung cancer) and I know it is not her fault.
Tobacco is a horribly addictive drug, it's almost impossible to give up until it's too late. It's disgusting that it is sold everywhere and the government use it as a source of revenue through tax, taking advantage of people's addiction.
No one starts smoking thinking they will die. I was so addicted, I smoked through my pregnancies and have only finally managed too stop following my own lung cancer scare and my mums diagnosis.
Don't blame yourself. You are justified to be angry, but direct it to a government that allows and makes money from people's addictions. This is not your fault.
Love and strength to you
The fact that you smoked won't have helped, but not everyone who smokes gets cancer - life isn't that simple.
Have you had a proper diagnosis yet? Last I heard you'd been told that the CT scan had showed a mass in both lungs - which is scary. Have they biopsied the masses?
You smoked.I've probably even on error weight most of my life'. Between overweight and slightly obese and I enjoy a drink of wine ....is it my fault I have secondary breast cancer? I don't eat enough good fats or do the right exercise ( how I have tried!!!).
We are all human. No one is perfect. No one is to blame for their cancer. I had quite a stressful childhood. Food was a pleasure and a comfort... nothing is straight forward.
My lovely friend says to me about things we regret or are ashamed of or feel foolish about - lift up the carpet and sweep it under. Start from now. We cannot change the past.
Forgive yourself ( gosh - I sound like Dr Phil etc!) & see how you can enjoy the time you have
I'mI going to the Carabeansoin and am going good to enjoy every minute!
Take care. You are not alone. You aren't the 1st or last person to smoke. Hugs and kisses x
