Hi Gracie,

Isn’t it strange how there always seems to be one or two people in most families who bear the brunt of anything like this? – it’s the same in my family.  If you have a chat with your dad’s consultant s/he may be able to give you a guesstimate as to how long your dad has left, but they could still be way out.

The best thing to do is to probably plan for a sudden end, then it’s a bonus if he gets longer.

This means sitting down with your dad for a true heart to heart. Has he got a bucket list of things which he would like to do before he dies? -  if not, does he want one? Has he made any plans for his funeral – if not what does he want and where does he want to have it? If he has not made any provision, do you have the wherewithal for this, or can you get other family members to chip in? Funerals are expensive and it is just as well to be prepared.

Are there any family secrets which you want to know the answers to? – this was something that I left too late with my mum and I have constantly regretted it.

Things usually progress a little more slowly with someone of your dad’s age, so hopefully he will still have some time left with you. While he is still keeping well, try and make some happy memories which you can look back at after he is gone. Don’t let the spectre of death hang over you any more than you have to.

It is so difficult to stay strong when your heart is breaking, but I hope that you can manage to do this. In the moments when you are away from him let the tears flow – this is a good release valve.

We are here to support you along this unenviable journey and don’t forget to keep us in the loop when you have the time.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx