I am writing this as a child (well i am 28) who is going to lose their parent soon. My dad has glioblastoma which is a word for super-bad-brain-cancer. I can't imagine how you must feel,but hey, "terible" might be a safe bet.
I see that your are a very good mom and i am sure your children will know. All i can say is to take a breath and at the end of every day just count what you did and mattered. A joyful moment, a nice movie or a good burger. I do this little mandra at the end of every day too. I say "ok today i had a long conversation with dad and we laughed" , "my nieces are funny", "we cooked a nice chicken". Since our days together are not many i try to make some nice memories in the midst of it all.
If you worry about the future and not being there, try to write them letters for their wedding day for example and have somebody trusted to pass them on.Or buy birthday gifts and have them send. In that way they will know that you are with them and that you are super cool even after death.
I can't console you, this thing sucks. Living in the now is what gets most of us through each day. Don't worry about the future, what will come will come, and you'll deal with it then.
I too am a child (27 years old...!) and I lost my mum to cancer a week ago. Myself, my brother (25) and sister (21) have got through this week knowing how amazing and strong and positive our mum was. She really was incredible and we're trying to follow her lead. She often said she didn't want to leave us... and I never knew what to say... but I know she hasn't truely left. We're all part of her and that brings me so much comfort.
The letter thing mentioned by Electra is a great idea. Our mum had all the intentions of doing this for our birthdays and Christmases to come, but unfortunately time rushed on and she didn't get to do it.
Anyway, I don't know if any of this reassures you. But if you want to chat then I'm here and happy to give advice or share feelings!
