Hi Hf, I'm very sorry you are going through this. Your grandmother ( or mum) is one of the most important people in the world to you, of course you'd be heartbroken. In terms of others understanding, I don't think people get it unless they have been where you are.?My dad hasn't got long, but he is up and about. I'm pretty devastated too. I don't feel ready either. i can't offer much solace. However, I've dealt with it by getting practical. Firstly, I've sorted all my dad's finances, and got the will bit out of the way. I've also written a bucket list with dad,  and I'm determined to work my way through them for him.  The things are little but nice to do. One is going to the coast for the day. It's so hard,  there are days I can't believe what is happening. I'm not sure whether this has helped, but just know you are not a lone. Sending you virtual hugs xx

Morning Hf,

Jo has offered me some great advice. I think we're all going through the same thing. 

I don't think my mum's age would make a difference to how I cope. She is only 57, but regardless it isn't fair and doesn't make it any easier. And at 36 you shouldn't have to go through this. Have you tried seeing a councillor? I have been seeing one since January and I think it helps for me to talk to someone who isn't my friends or family or colleagues.

Like you, I am usually a strong person but I have definitely had my weak moments. We've known about mum's cancer since last July, so of course there are moments when we can't be our usual strong selves. It's only human I guess. 

My mum's had a few nurses in to see her to make her more comfortable and sort her medication out and it's so difficult to see. I'm not ready to say goodbye. I don't think I ever will be. 

Like Jo's dad we made a bucket list with Mum, nothing crazy, but things like visiting me down in Lincolnshire (they live in Scotland) and going to KFC! Haha. 

I hope you're okay today xx