He's nearing end after fighting for 2 years, it's torture

I have been posting about my precious, beautiful and amazing big brother Alan for the last 2 years, he is severely mentally disabled and was diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer. He has been incredible for the last 2 years, especially as the doctor did not even think he would live longer than a year. But in the last 3 weeks he has suddenly started to quickly deteriorate, he is swelling up so much with fluid, he is now struggling to walk up and downstairs and is dragging himself around. He is on pain relief patches which keep needing increasing, he is also on Lorazepan for agitation and to help him sleep, but my stubborn boy (aged 44) is still fighting his own body and often going more than 48 hours without sleep! his gp 2 weeks ago said he probably had days to a week left. He is making it so hard on himself bless him and it is torture to see him unable to listen to his body, he is even still bouncing on his mini tramploine, but no longer enjoying it, it is just something he has always done and his head is still making him do. He lives 3 hours away from me so I am having to go and stay in a b&b for days and then coming home for a few days inbetween. I am terrified I won't be wth him when he goes and I am terrified the end will not be peaceful or gentle for him, i along with his carers are scared he might go while bouncing on his trampoline or dragging himself down the stairs.

  • Hi

    What a brave boy you have in your amazing brother Alan who has had a long and difficult journey. I hope the medication can keep him as comfortable and as calm as is possible given the distressing circumstances.  I am sure both you and his carers are hurting terribly inside as I know how difficult it is watching someone you love and  cherish deeply.  Sadly none of us know when that exact moment of loss/release from pain may come and even living minutes away (as with my Mum when we lost my Dad) it is not always possible to be there in the physical sense.  Always know that you have done as much as is possible and whilst any loss will be great your heart will always be full with the love you have grown there whilst you watched out for your big brother.  Sending virtual hugs.  Jules