I have been posting about my precious, beautiful and amazing big brother Alan for the last 2 years, he is severely mentally disabled and was diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer. He has been incredible for the last 2 years, especially as the doctor did not even think he would live longer than a year. But in the last 3 weeks he has suddenly started to quickly deteriorate, he is swelling up so much with fluid, he is now struggling to walk up and downstairs and is dragging himself around. He is on pain relief patches which keep needing increasing, he is also on Lorazepan for agitation and to help him sleep, but my stubborn boy (aged 44) is still fighting his own body and often going more than 48 hours without sleep! his gp 2 weeks ago said he probably had days to a week left. He is making it so hard on himself bless him and it is torture to see him unable to listen to his body, he is even still bouncing on his mini tramploine, but no longer enjoying it, it is just something he has always done and his head is still making him do. He lives 3 hours away from me so I am having to go and stay in a b&b for days and then coming home for a few days inbetween. I am terrified I won't be wth him when he goes and I am terrified the end will not be peaceful or gentle for him, i along with his carers are scared he might go while bouncing on his trampoline or dragging himself down the stairs.