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Heartbroken

Kate20
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My mum was diagnosed with stage 4 Gbm Brian cancer. And there is no cure.

A women I have looked up to my whole life and women I love, 

When the time comes I don't know what im going to do or how I will cope. 

I feel like I'm living a constant nightmare but in this one I don't get to wake up. 

How can I go through life without her, she is everything to me. 

My mum was diagnosed back in may 2015 and we have been very lucky as she has been in no pain and not much has change.

However over the last years she has deteriorated a lot because of the way the tumor is growing it means her speach and her short time memory is effected. And the normal everyday jobs are a big struggle. 

I am not ready to lose her in am only 20 years old and i need her. 

 

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    Hey, My mum has metastatic breast cancer, first diagnosed when I was 15 back in 2010. Two years ago it came back and it's been a struggle ever since. At the moment we are constantly in and out of hospital holding out all hope that the next chemo will do some good. I'm 22 and so not ready to loose my mum either, she is everything to me. I think we just have to try with everything we have to stay positive for our mums, let them know how much we love them and do all we can for them. Wishing you and your family the best of luck Xx
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    Poor you Kate and poor your mum. It must be heart breaking for you seeing mum go down and suffering = and she is your mum and best friend. I wish I knew why these horrid things happen to people and how to stop them from happening. You must be as close as possible and enjoy every minute you have together.

    We will be praying for you both

    XX

    Brighteyes

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    Hi Kate,

    So sorry to hear about your mum, my mum had secondary breast cancer and died November 2016 aged 47 and I'm 23 it hurt me so much and still does. 

    There's no easy way of saying it but it's *** when it happens. My mum was looking forward to helping me plan my wedding and now cancer has taken that away from both of us. 

    I find it so hard seeing people with their mums and doing things with them. And I'm there mumless.

    My friends and partner have tried to help me and they have all been amazing. But they don't really understand what I'm going through. You have a few good days and lots of rubbish ones. People keep telling me it's going to get easier, but will it!? I don't think so. 

    When you're in your 20s you don't expect to have lost your mum at this age. I just get upset thinking about all the things my mum is missing out on. 

    I have however found it really helpful to talk to others going through the same thing as me. I've met a few people just on these forums, so if you do want to chat feel free to message me.

    Thinking of you and your family at this tough time. Xx

     

  • Offline in reply to steff

    Hi. Thank you for sharing how you feel. I'm a similar age to you and currently going through something similar. 

    Two years ago Mum had a cold for 6 months. The GP undertook blood tests and decided she had 'raised markers'. Over the next 2 years, she visited numerous different Specialists who were unable to find anything wrong. In November, she had a CT scan that revealed an abnormal gallbladder. The hospital decided to book her in for surgery to remove the gall bladder. Unfortunately, when they cut her open during surgery, they found cancer that was inoperable and could not be treated. Since then, Mum has received no treatment and simply sent home to wait. 

    We are currently waiting for chemotherapy in an attempt to try and slow the cancer down, but the NHS has a long waiting list and I fear it is too little, too late. 

    Mum is currently very weak and is struggling to do normal activities. She is also struggling to eat because it makes her feel sick and in pain.  

    Mum said to me yesterday that she just wanted to wake up one day and feel normal for a day, which is absolutely heartbreaking. 

    Since December, I have worked nearly every day from Mum's house in order to care for her. My bosses have been amazing. 

    Mum is dying and there is nothing that I can do about it. I try to be positive around her but inside I'm braking. 

    My partner and friends have been amazing but they don't fully understand how I feel and I find it difficult to describe. 

    I recently got engaged. My fiancé wants to plan our wedding but I can't do it whilst Mum is so poorly. I don't feel like celebrating anything. I don't feel like planning a wedding right now which I know my Mum is not going to make. 

    I find it heartbreaking watching Mum get worse each day. She has given me so much in life to me. I'm not ready to lose her. She is too young to die. I expected my Grandma to go before my Mum. Instead, my Grandma is watching her daughter die. 

    The world is cruel. I hate cancer. 

    Andy 

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