Hi poggu I'm sorry 2 read about u dad u not on u own I'm going through silmer situation as u . My mother got inoperable bowel cancer we don't know how long she got . It's so hard I got 11 month old baby boy it also killing me knowing my mother wouldn't see him grow up my heart broken I'm also dreading Christmas I don't know if it's going 2 be her last I'm dreading new year it's the not knowing scares me . I know how u feeling it's so sad and there nothing we can do I feel so helpless . I wish I could tell u how to cope but I'm not coping myself I'm just taken each day and spending how much time I can with my mother. We trying 2 keep things normal it's so hard . Any time u need chat I'm here take care 

Hello

I am so sorry for what you are going through. Nothing I will say will take away an inch from the pain, sadness, anguish, pure devastation you are going through at the moment so all I can say is I do understand (as do so many on here) and you will cope and you will get through it albiet not an easy road ahead. I lost my amazing dad in July. Like you I was very close to my dad and was always a daddys girl. I am now 39 with two young children and nothing prepares you for the emptyness and how vulnarable you feel when that safety blanket, that protection and comfort you have always known is taken away. No one else will get it unless they have been through it. My dad had never had any health problems and as we thought a fit and young at heart 72 year old. He was taken poorly in May, diagnosed in June and gone by the middle of July. I remember being told he had one month. Your world crashes down. You ask how you cope? I always imagined how I would care for my dad in the last days, say my final goodbyes and thank yous when I knew the time was coming or even draw breath after he had passed. Somehow you do. For them. You put one foot in front of the other, take a deep breath and face it (and then find space on your own after to release). Take each day as it comes. Try to spend as much time as you can with your dad and tell him everything you want him to know. At least that way there will be no "what ifs" and "if only's" and you will both take comfort from it. So many people say "take time for yourself - be gentle to yourself" not easy when you have 2 young kids and a mum who is devastated so I understand when you have a family too and you cannot just switch off from that although you will be all consumed with your dad, understandably. I know christmas will be so hard for you as it will be for me without my dad but I feel so blessed that I had this amazing man in my life for 39 years and some people dont have that time or that relationship so I am lucky. Sounds like he is an amazing dad and he will live on in you. Not sure if this has helped at all but I know I felt like no one understood what I was going through (still feel like it) so that is why this forum is so helpful as people do "get it". Big hug! Kate 

I'm so sorry 4 loss of u dad it's so cruel :( 

Thank you Gemini39. I am so sorry you are going through it at the moment, made even harder (if that is at all possible) at this time of year. Try (easier said than done) and live for the moment and enjoy quality time with your mum this christmas and get lots of videos with your mum and baby boy xx

Hi poggu 

im going through something very similar my wonderful dad has lung cancer which has spread to his spine and was diagnosed a few weeks ago now. They have said up to 2 months and I'm struggling to cope I have a 3 year old who adores her gramps and he tears up every time he sees her it's heartbreaking and so unfair I love him so much and can't bare to think of my life without him. This will be our last Christmas and I'm hoping to make it a good one but there is always a black cloud over you. Take care I know exactly how you feel xx