father is dying of brain cancer

this has happened very quickly, previously my dad had tonsil cancer which he received the all clear for in september, by november he was acting strange speech was slurred and he was muddled. doctors assumed it was a stroke, however after a scan it came back that it was brain cancer. since the 15th november he has deteriorated rapidly. doctors wanted to do radiation but now in the space of two weeks it has become too advanced and that is no longer an option. he is on steroids to help but he is getting worse by the day. my parents live in wales, i'm 200 miles away in england and feel completely helpless. i'm 33 weeks pregnant and i know he isn't going to be here much longer. I'm so scared and feel like i'm letting him down by not being with him but my mum doesnt want me to see him in the state he is in now. i'm not ready for him to go, its happened so quickly :(

  • Hello Sammi, 

    I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. It sounds as if this has all happened very quickly and come as a shock to you all. It's understandable that you feel the way you do. 

    You didn't mention if Dad is at home or being cared for in hospital/hospice. How is Mum coping with things? Have the two of you been able to talk about how you're both feeling? I'm sure that your Mum is probably worried about how Dad's illness is impacting on you and the baby. 

    You are welcome to post here anytime Sammi. If you want to chat or rant or offload the please know that you are able to do that here at Cancer Chat and the community will do it's best to support you in the difficult times ahead. 

    Sending you our best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator

  • I'm sorry to hear that. :( Know that many of us are feeling the same way right now, and that no matter how much you try to prepare yourself you won't ever be truly prepared. It's hard to swallow the realization that next year he won't be there, he might not see your new-born child, he won't be there to experience anymore of your ups and downs and accomplishments of life.

    Deep down i know that anything i say won't help, only you can deal with it. I know you feel helpless that you can't do anything and it's painful watching your father wither from afar. If this makes you feel a little bit better, when people lose their minds, i like to believe that though their body is still working, their spirit and mind does not have to suffer anymore and is merely wiating for their body, and soon they will truly be in a better place-heaven, meeting their long lost friends and relatives again, rejoicing and waiting and watching over you. I am not religious or Christian, but i still believe in a 'heaven', where everyone with good hearts come after death and live happily.