My Dad is dying of brain cancer.  3 months ago he was playing 3 rounds of golf every week.  He had a suspected stroke and was paralysed down the right side of his body and further tests revealed CNS lymphoma. He started receiving intense chemotherapy, which was working and shrinking his tumour, but his body just didn't cope and he's now receiving morphine to relieve the pain and he's barely conscious.  He can't speak or swallow and is having difficulty breathing as his lungs are so weak.  He responds by opening his eyes and looking at the nurses when they call his name but only for a few seconds.  My problem is that I live in the UK and he lives in SA.  I went to visit for a month when he was diagnosed and started chemo.  I don't know whether to go back now, to say goodbye while he is still alive but not completely 'with us', or to wait until he passes and go for the memorial service.  Everyone is advising me not to go now because he is in such a bad state and they think it won't be good for me to see him like this.  Flights are so expensive and we just don't have the finances for me to keep flying backwards and forwards.  I have a husband, 3 young children and a new puppy.  Do I go now or do I wait?  It's causing a big problem between my husband and I.  I'm very angry that everyone is trying to stop me from going now and I need an outsiders opinion. Heartbroken, angry, don't want to live with regrets, credit card in my hand and not afraid to use it :(