I do not know at the moment how to stay in control of myself, my husband has been told he has had the optimum in chemo, and now where the chemo was holding it, it's not now, he is already back on pain killers, I can't bear watching and knowing we  are loosing every day, I want to make happy memories, but to keep trying when heart breaking, and to also top it all my mum has just been diagnosed with Colon cancer, just don't no how bad at the moment.