I'm sorry for you, cancer is really an ugly thing. Stay strong in front of your mother's last few days, you should mend all of the ties with her that and promise her that you'll strive for a good life and be good, i know that your mother will worry a lot about you when she's gone, tell her you'll be fine and make her proud.

You cannot turn back time or avoid the inevitable, (i know, it really sucks :() so spend time with your mom as much as you can and take care of her. you really never know exactly when she might pass. A lot of people here are going through this, and even if you prepare as much as you can for the day, its still gonna be a hard blow to the face.

i remember, years ago, one of my other relatives i was very close to, she was set to die in a couple weeks. I spend a lot of time making a card for her, and the next day i told my dad i wanted to visit her to give her the card. My dad then said that he had gotten a phone call late last night of the hospital telling us that she had died. I can't describe how awful i felt. My younger self just couldn't wrap my mind around it. She wasn't supposed to die until two days later, its not fair !

I later ripped up the card . They tell you about when she's going to pass but never exact. Treat every day like it's her last and reassure her over and over that you'll do her proud. It's a hard hurdle that everyone has to pass, knowing that your mother and father won't always be there.Wait with her as she sleeps, feed her, talk to her, reassure and comfort her, tell her you'll always be there.

My blessings come to you and your mother, there is nothing i can say that will help.

Christmas Day over it was so strange was happy it was my baby first Christmas :) Then my heart was breaking because the situation with my mother it's so sad :( feel real down 2day got sinking feeling in my belly it's horrible feeling. Went up my mothers and fathers for dinner all the table was done 4 us my mother and father made the dinner it was really nice. 2 : 00 we had dinner my mother and father already had they food . 3:00 came my mother was tied she went 2 bed she slept 4 few hours . My heart breaking seening how she is :( my hubby took the baby up to see is mothers.  my olderst sister came up we had laugh and chat and few tears god it hurts . My head like world wind this morning wish this pain would go cancer have got a lot 2 answer 4 . Really wish I had magic wand turn things back the way they where it's so sad :(  :( 

Thanks wattbobbles hope u ok take care 

Thanks jules means a lot take care x 

What next I could really scream I'm so angry  with the way mother been treating by doctors . Because she terminal I feel like they don't care about u my mother was in hospital with bleeding was told her womb thinning give her tablets it was about 2 months still bleeding . Now they give here tablets 2 try and stop it . Why didn't give that tablet in begin it not nice 4 71 2 be bleeding ok now . Then she court shingles of here cousin they cleared up . Then my mother have been going out breath 4 few weeks she had Doctor they told her lungs are clear but he give here Ventolin inhaler 2 use it when she goes out breath. She started 2 have cough just b4 Christmas coughing up phlegm . Yesterday she was coughing more and out breath more I told her 2 have Doctor . She just had Doctor she got pneumonia in 1 lung she on antibiotics she also got 2 have x Ray 2 Moro. Where was the other Doctor how didn't he pick it up then his words when he seen my mother we born 2 die my head all over the place got 2 wait again it so not fair I feel so sad seening my mother going through this I really don't know what 2 do I'm there 4 here doing the things u supposed but I feel we should be doing more 4 her it's cruel :( 

Oh  Gemini, so sorry to read your latest post about Mum. I know you must be at  your wits end with worry but please do not feel that you are not doing enough.  You are doing as best you can in what is such a difficult situation.  Pneumonia can come on very quickly with the immune system is already being savaged by cancer and is, according to my late Father's consultant, not always easy to spot when the symptoms mirror those already being experienced.  I do hope that the antibiotics help your Mum soon.  My Father was in hospital recovering from an op when he caught pneumonia and then home within a week - such a rollercoaster of emotions to go through.  Unfortunately with a low immune system it seems our loved ones become more open to anything going around.  Does your Mum have a MacMillan nurse or support worker attached to her consultant  that you can chat through your worries with and perhaps get some guidance. I know support varies from area to area and we were incredible lucky to have support when we needed it but I did find it very hard to accept that nothing I could do would change things. Our children were late 20's and 30 when my hubby was diagnosed and my daughter coping with a new baby in the last year of his terminal diagnosis caused her much distress as she felt pulled in so many directions.  Please take care of yourself and sending hugs.  Jules 

GEM just doin what your doing is what will get her through it.  Try and give her normality. That's the gift the only gift you can give her.  Yes it's ***,  yes it f***** hurts so much you think your going to stop breathing yourself or the lump in your throat is gunna do you in.  GEM be strong girl.  Do as you have been doing.  What will carry her through the pain and the hard times is you lot. Some Dr's are absolute twats.  Karen met a few of them. Insensitive ***. Take no notice.  The antibiotics and I bet steroids they have given her will help her.  The drugs they will have given her will be strong stuff so that will help a lot.  She will sleep a lot as the drugs take a lot out of her plus everything takes more energy now.  Stay strong Gem.  Xxx 

I thought I do up date on my mother I really don't know where 2 start . I hate what this cancer doing 2 her Monday 19 July I had dreading phone call that my mother was rushed 2 hospital by ambulance because she was in so much. My head was doing over time they kept her in 2 monitor pain. Tuesday went 2 see her she look so ill she was still in pain and feeling sick she taken morphin now 4 the pain I know it helps with pain but she staring 2 get confused sleeping more feeling sick more etc . The hospital told her they waiting on bone scan 2 see if the cancer has spread . The scan was in different hospital on Thursday they asked my mother do she want 2 go home my mother said no because she don't want 2 go home and keep coming back and 4 I didn't blame her . Friday had phone call 2 say she home they more or less pushed her out she came home she was in pain and was sick again . I feel like they haven got no time 4 my mother because there nothing 2 be done :( she had appointment on the following Monday 4 scan she was all dressed 2 go then she had funny turn she couldn't go :( my father been phoning around 4 help 4 her in the house 2 make her comfortable but no 1 have got back. This make u mad they say there help out there but u and try and get it . She suppose 2 have pillivate care nurse coming 2 the house she haven . The hospital where she was staying suppose have arranged it 4 her . It's so upsetting nothing being done 4 her . I just want her 2 be comfortable and pain free.  My head all over the place I feel so helpless i been really down can't stop crying :( between everything what been going on I'm broken just don't know how much more I can take things are getting me down :( 

Hi Gemini

So sad to read how things are getting so difficult for your Mum. Not sure where you are based but it really does sound as though your family needs some extra help as a matter of urgency now. I know different areas of the country operate differently.  I was so lucky to have the GP and community nurses on my side and this was always my first port of call as they would then co-ordinate with hubby's cancer specialist/tea,. We travelled three years through the palliative care route and it was not at all easy despite having the support so I cannot begin to imagine how desparate you and your Dad must be finding all this just now. Once my hubby was on morphine he was regularly monitored (he was on other painkillers alongside the morphine) and adjustments made as soon as he reported he was in more pain. It was a gradual process which lead to more and more sleep and that was his relief from hurting. I involved social services care who arranged any equipment to aid us (I could not lift my hubby on my own) and he stayed at home throughout which was his choice. Always remember that you have been and still are doing all you possibly can as well as coping with your young baby. No one is superhuman and it is very distressing to watch those we love suffering.If you have a different GP to your Mum (I did not have same doc as my hubby) please see him/her and explain the situation so you can be supported also. My thoughts are with you all and it's not much but sending big hugs too.

I hope your Mum's pain relief can be sorted as soon as possible and amsure your Dad will call an ambulance again if he needs your Mum seen again.  It's certainly not the ideal way to maintain her pain relief but sometimes it's the only option. Not sure of your Mum's feelings about hospice care but my friend used to go for occasional stays during her cancer journey and they were very good at pain control and getting the right levels before she returned home to be with the family.  Jules x