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My mum has lung cancer

Debbie71
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May of this year my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer , she is to weak to receive any treatment, July of this year her lung stop working , she has got COPD as well , today I found out that she's been coughing up blood, so the doctor went out to visit her , and the doctor was saying because my mums coughing up blood she could have a blood clot go to her heart , if that's the case would she want to be resuscitated , her reply was no , I'm in bits has she lives in the midlands and I live in Dorset x

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    Hi Debbie, 

    My mum has lung cancer and COPD too. That DNR makes things seem very real and final doesn't it? It was almost the first thing the Doctor did. We have it in a jar in the fridge and there it stays. To be honest, would you really want your mum brought back to face yet more struggling and illness? I know I wouldn't. In fact I know that there are some days she would rather be able to push a button and just go. Thankfully they aren't the norm so we just plod on. Has your mum been given any sort of prognosis? Mine was told a couple of months without treatment and eighteen months with. She opted for no treatment and has so far outlived the first deadline. Considering the initial gloomy outlook, she has a reasonably good quality of life and I am sure you can achieve the same with your mum. Be prepared for what is to come, but don't dwell on it. Each day is a new possibility. 

    Love and hugs to both of you

  • Offline in reply to AfterSixFlowers
    Hi my mum has lung cancer too..diagnosed in Jan and was told 6 months without treatment under a year with...as my mums power of attorney I decided no treatment...mum has alzheimer's too and to this day doesn't know about the C...I know how you feel it's hard but it's your mum so you have to be strong..mum was coughing blood for a while and wasn't nice to see but doc decided on 1 dose of radiation and so far so gd no blood since.. symptoms are controlled but mum has slowly been deteriorating for the last few months..no appetite and hasn't ate for weeks...6wks??? Small amounts of fluids...huge weight loss!! Mum is receiving pallative care now...pain free and comfortable and still at home for as long as I can keep her there..how long can is possibly go on without food and fluids??? Pallative and District nurses are wonderful and have been such a huge support as they care for not just mum but myself anD my own wee family...this journey so far has been such a rollorcoaster and will continue to be good days and bad but please know there are lots of people to support you and your family through this tough time...typing this is helping me as being a caregiver i am on autopilot..I feel there will be enough time afterwards to be doom and gloom but right now mum is still here so im cherishing every moment as if its our last...be strong and keep smiling G x
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    hey im sorry to hear your news. I left my four children and husband at home to spend my mums last days with her, in fact 6 weeks. I wouldn't of had it any other way. Although it was hard I had to be there for her. I hope you get some better news soon. And may your mum keep strong. Best wishes to you and your family. Xxx
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    Hi Debbie, My Mum also has lung cancer, she was treated with Chemo and radiotherapy and now has secondaries in her lymph nodes and brain. I too am completely devastated as my mum has DNR in place and it all makes it seem so final. Please though Debbie take some comfort in knowing it would be very distressing for your mum and yourself if she was resuscitated. I am a nurse and I have seen the effects of termilly ill people being resuscitated. At them min we are caring for my mum at home, I am 8 months pregnant with my first child and I beat myself up as I want to do more for her but I can't. I am lucky that I live very close to her but please Debbie living away does not make you a bad person, it's just life. My brother lives so close too and he hardly bothers which makes matters worse. Please be brave and positive as much as you can. I know exactly how you are feeling and my heart go's out to you. Much love to you. Louise xxx

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