I'm sorry you and your mum are going through this. The grieving process usually starts once you know a life is going to end. This way, I don't want to say it cushions the blow as that sounds a bit rude, but it lets you adjust to things more gradually. The mind trickle feeds the emotions and info to digest bit by bit so you can deal with it in more amounts. That said its bloody tough! Grief is such a long process and journey. I know everyone goes through losing their parents and its natural, it's not natural (in my eyes) to lose somebody prematurely. As a child you grow up thinking you get old and then die. You get married, have children, you go to work, you retire, you then have 20 years of leisure time where you take your pension and do what you want in life. THEN, the unknown happens, you get handed a death sentence that wasn't part of the plan. To say I struggled with losing my dad 3 days after diagnosis last year is an understatement. My dad was supposed to get old and grey and I was going to look after my parents. Him leaving the world at 64 was never part of the plan. I don't think I'll ever get over that. Despite how rubbish life can be, you take life day by day and you survive. There are certainly many ups and downs. I hope your mum doesn't suffer too much. Take care x

Thankyou Michelle, whoosh - 3 days, goodness. I have said to mum that she is fortunate in that she has had the summer with us and I am trying to teach her to hold on to the good moments as they are running out. Thankyou for sharing, is your grief getting any easier? I am shocked at how physical it is, not just emotional

Hi, it'll be a year on 24th October. It's got easier in some ways but still so hard all the same. I went through so many emotions and really struggled. Week 5 was the worst for me, I'm a really strong person with a very can do attitude, however when my dad died he died in my arms bleeding, I gave him CPR but couldn't save him! This was really hard to deal with as I couldn't save him no matter what I done, the girl who believes she can do anything. Physically I suffered broken heart syndrome, I had high blood pressure and was not coping. This resolved a couple of months in as the stress eased. Now 11 months in the bit that I really struggle with is the quickness of it all, I had no time to get used to what was going to happen. It doesn't play on my mind how he died which was awful. It's just that quickness. I spent a lot of time looking for a letter from him asking me to look after my mum. I think if we'd had longer more things would of been sorted and more things said. My dad hadn't been 100% all year, he hid the seriousness of how unwell he was and didn't go to the doctors till a few weeks before he passed. I now take the positives out of the situation, my dad lived a full life as possible till very close to passing. He wouldn't of wanted us all moping and fussing around him. I have to respect the route he chose and make peace with myself or I will torture myself further. All that said I miss him terribly, he was my best friend, father and neighbour all in one. x

Hi Vicki, your post struck a cord with me because I too am finding week 5 very hard and like you I'm a very strong person with an i can do this attitude. I was having bad days but coping reasonably well but this week I'm just falling apart all the time, I feel I just can't get it together and I'm never going to be happy without John. It makes me feel better to see you went through this period also and it's normal as far as anything about this journey in normal. You have given me hope for the future and I wish you  a continuing recovery. Love Sandra. X

Hi Vicki, your post struck a cord with me because I too am finding week 5 very hard and like you I'm a very strong person with an i can do this attitude. I was having bad days but coping reasonably well but this week I'm just falling apart all the time, I feel I just can't get it together and I'm never going to be happy without John. It makes me feel better to see you went through this period also and it's normal as far as anything about this journey in normal. You have given me hope for the future and I wish you  a continuing recovery. Love Sandra. X