Cancer Research UK main site
  • Replies 36 replies
  • Views 11832 views
  • Users 0 members are here

Anticipatory Grief

vickyd
Offline

Hi all, my mum was diagnosed with Stage 4 Brain Cancer in January this year and even as I write this, it seems so surreal. Her treatment has ended and she is starting to deteriorate. It seems the cognitive deficit is affecting me more, I am finding my ability to function is dwindling - handling these waves of grief is all encompassing and not one of my friends has experienced this yet, I feel alone and in pain. I don't want to sit, stand, speak, be quiet, be loud etc...it is a living nightmare watching her deteriorate and I don't know how I will get through it - and then face life without her. Life seems so bleak right now. Yet everyone goes through this at some point, it is the law of nature - doesn't feel so natural to me :(

Parents
  • Offline

    Hi Vickyd

    I am feeling similar feeling to you.

    My husand has stage 4 Bowel cancer and we have been told he may survive his current episode of problems or may come through this crisis and have 3 months.I just dont know how to survive this.My young adult children are suffering agony too. I feel desparate to help my husband and dont want him to suffer. i feel desparate that i cant do any thing to control events that seem surreal. I dont know where to turn to for help because i know no one can help us . Life feels like a living hell.

  • Offline in reply to devotedwife

    Oh bless you and your family - I have used those words myself to describe how it can feel. Nightmare, a living nightmare. You definately could seek a Therapist? I have one and she is helping me no end, I arrive for our sessions feeling like I have the whole world on my shoulders and leave feeling lighter, thinking I can face whatever. As someone said to me, whatever happens, we will hope, all of us x

Reply
  • Offline in reply to devotedwife

    Oh bless you and your family - I have used those words myself to describe how it can feel. Nightmare, a living nightmare. You definately could seek a Therapist? I have one and she is helping me no end, I arrive for our sessions feeling like I have the whole world on my shoulders and leave feeling lighter, thinking I can face whatever. As someone said to me, whatever happens, we will hope, all of us x

Children
No Data

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.