Hi there, 

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. In March of this year my dad got diagnosed with incurable bowel cancer which had spread to his liver. He unfortunately passed away 9 weeks later. Throughout his battle, my dad found it very very difficult to eat as he would vomit it straight back up again. However towards the end, he was very very sleepy and in the last few days he was unable to wake up - he was in a coma. He passed away peacefully in his sleep. 

I am not 100% sure if it means the end is near if your mum isn't eating and is very sleepy, but because she is sleeping I would have thought she is comfortable and not in too much pain. I would suggest keeping your mum as comfortable as possible. 

I hope you are doing okay xx 

Hi helplessme, 

I am sorry to hear about your mum. My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer about a month ago, and we aren't entirely sure of how much time he has left. I just wanted to tell you that you aren't alone. We are always here to talk. 

I also agree with [@georgie1]‍ that keeping your mum as comfortable as possible would be the best for her right now. How are you coping right now? Do you have other family members or friends who you are able to talk to?

I get so confused...

Some days she sleeps all day and night and I find myself checking on her and making sure she is still breathing

Then the next day she will be bright as.

I moved her in with us thinking we still had quality time but she basically stays in bed the whole time so I have become her nurse without any qualifications 

I know she doesnt have much time left and Im scared what to expect when we get to the final weeks .

I have 2 brothers but the input is a phone call to her when they feel like it.

She has esphogeol and lung cancer..she also has some good days that surprise me and I get my hopes up but then she goes down again

Hello there [@Helplessme]‍ 

im so sorry to hear about your mum. Do you have district nurses coming in to see your mum? Does her gp visit her at home? I'm just asking to see if you could ask them what they thought about your mums condition to give you an idea of timescales. I remember speaking to the palliative team when my mum was in hospital and they told us my mum would sleep a lot which she did but that was due to the morphine which would knock her out but once her body was used to it she would rally round again the next day so it's very difficult to say. My mum also had lung cancer which was obstructing her food esophogus and caused her to be unable to eat, she did try certain textures for a while like yoghurts and milkshakes but she stuck to tea and coffee at the end as she was bringing everything back up. 

For 5 days before my mum passed away, she was unconscious, she felt a bit funny on the Saturday and her breathing changed and when she fell asleep, she never woke up again. 

The not eating will probably make your mum feel very weak and make her want to sleep some days 

are you able to get marie curie nurses to help you with overnight stays? 

Xx

The district nurses have come out to help with showering as it takes so much out of her due to breathing.Still waiting on a visit from pallative care

She doesnt take strong pain relief as she isn't in any pain which is good.

She just sleeps all the time

I just feel hopeless and sometimes overwhelmed, I hate seeing my mum like this.

Hi, i no exactly how you feel, dad was told on tues hes in end of life stage, he had stopped eating was in bed all day.  Hes still at home and said he just wants to go, hes had enough.  Doc gave him morphine and steroids yesterday and within hours hes sitting up and ate some dinner.  Marie curie stressed its only temporary and he can only take for four weeks then hell go right back downhill.    I struggle knowing what to do, my work has been great but i lie at night and break my heart for him.  I put a face on in front of him and mum but inside i feel like my heart is being wrenched out.   I feel helpless and would do anything to help him.  Its very hard isnt it.  I havent posted much here but i need it now and it definitely helps to talk to people who really understand xx

It must be so hard to see her in pain.

You see with mum's  cancer being in her brain she doesn't have any bad symptoms really. She has always  been sleepy (diagnosed with celiac disease about 14 years ago) forgetful etc.... so apart from her not being able to sing anymore in her folk groups (due to a little loss of movement on her right side, causing a slight droop in her mouth) she's just mum.....

It's that at anytime she can just go. That terrifies me. I keep writing letters to her telling her how much I love her... but then not giving them to her. I don't want to upset her.

But I need to write it down.

I hope you manage to get some answers to your questions huni. Sounds like your mum has the best love and care around her with you and your family. X

Its the worst part not knowing and im still going in and out to work but leaving when i need to.  I no when dad gets worse i need time off but hes so up and down.     Sometimes i wish hed just drift off in his sleep and then i feel terrible for thinking that.