Hi Cazza, welcome to the forum, but so sorry to hear about your Mom being so ill with this disease. It seems as though her cancer is not responding well to treatment and I can understand why her treatment team would not want to continue to make her even more ill. Its' awful hard to deal with a parent with cancer and you seem to be doing this pretty much on your own, other than your Dad being there. I'm sure he appreciates you staying home to help him out. Its' quite possible your Mom already knows how serious this is for her, so having family members come to visit will not likely surprise her. I hope your other siblings will be coming home for a visit too.

I wish there was something I could say to comfort you, but I know there likely isn't anything. I was in a similar situation when my Dad was dying with cancer several years ago. It fell to me to try and hold things together and help my Mom with his care, so I know a little bit of what it must be like for you. You will get through this and your Mom and your Dad I'm sure, will certainly your help. Come back on the forum and let us know how you are managing.

Take care.

Lorraine

Hi Cazza1984

im so sorry to hear about your mum and know exactly what you are going through. I never expected to be on this forum, cancer wasn't something I knew anything about until my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer and then my world fell apart. 

Is your mum back at home with you or still in hospital? It sounds like a good thing that your family are coming over as surrounding yourself with people you love and who love you will help a lot. 

We had to tell our mum the timescales the doctors gave myself and 2 brothers. She didn't want to know at first and then asked to be told. Is that something you feel you could speak about with your mum and your dad so that it is out in the open and it might help you to speak about it with your mum, what about your siblings? 

My only advice would be get as much information from the doctors as possible. Speak to your mum if she wants to do that and get your family involved as much as possible so you aren't dealing with the shock and stress all on your own. Is your mum still able to eat, walk etc? 

Tc xxx

Hi all

Many thanks for your comments and sorry it has taken so long to reply. My mum was admitted to hospital again on Tuedsay evening as she had a blood clot in her leg which went to her lung. Pulmonary embolism. She also had a infection so they advised the next 24-48 hours were critical. She responded well to the antibiotics and us now home but whilst in hospital we found it had spread to her bones.She now has problems moving about and getting in and out if bed. She now knows everything as we need to out things into place and we asked if she wanted to know and she said yes and then wanted to see the priest for her last rites whilst she she was still sound minded. She now keeps saying she wants to go and what's her timeline. I honestly don't know how to feel and am scared to even leave the house in case anything happens. I don't know now if I'm looking at days it weeks and have no idea what to look out for. 

Again thanks for your feedback. Much appreciated.

Hi Cazza1984, 

No need to apologize for the late reply. I am sure we can all understand the emotional rollercoaster you must be going through right now, at least understand parts of what you're feeling. I am glad to hear that your mom was able to go home and hopefully she is more comfortable being there than in the hospital. I just wanted to say again that i'm sending my thoughts your way and i'm sure your mom is so grateful that you are there by her side. I can't really give advice on what you should do. I also have that feeling of not wanting to leave my dad alone or not wanting to leave the house. I always feel guilty if I go out and socialize. I always want to be at home taking care of my dad. I don't think there's any right or wrong way of doing things, as we all manage in different ways. 

I just hope that your mom is comfortable now. It sounds like you are giving her the best care. I have not been on this forum long, but there are so many supportive people on here. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.