Cancer Research UK main site

Losing mam

Jillmoff
Offline

Hi just wanted to post to see if anyone else is going through a similar experience to me.  My mam was diagnosed with breast cancer four years ago. She had chemo, radiotherapy, lumpectomy & mastectomy& thankfully the all clear! However last July she found a tumour in her back & started chemo again but now she has 8 more tumours & last month we had the devastating news it had spread to her brain. She has rapidly deteriorated and initially my dad & I with help from carers were nursing her at home but she now needs a hoist to lift her out of bed as she has no strength in her legs & is unable to stand. She barely eats & is losing weight rapidly. She has said off/on she is ready to go as she is fed up. We are due to put her in a hospice for a week for some respite as we are all exhausted but I don't think she will come out, as she is very near the end. I am beyond devastated she is my best friend & I will miss her dreadfully. I suppose I'm just worried with this kind of cancer & how her final days will be. Jx

  • Hello Jill, 

    I'm sorry to hear that your Mum is so unwell; it sounds as if it's really dfficult for you all at the moment. Hopefully this time that Mum is going to spend in the hospice will allow you and your Dad to also rest a little and to be able to spend time with her without needing to worry about the practicalities that come with caring for someone. 
    It might also give you the opportunity to talk to nurses about how Mum's final days will be as you've mentioned that this is something that is worrying you. 

    Hopefully some of our other forum members will pop along shortly but we do also have a team of nurses here that you can call to talk to if you think it might be helpful. They are available Mon-Fri 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. 

    Keep in touch Jill and sending you all our best wishes, 

    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Jenn

    Thanks Jenn we have now been told that Mam has 2-3 weeks to live as much as anyone can predict these things. She is finally in hospice care & feel relieved for everyone as she can have proper round the clock care! However she will only be in for a few days but it may mean she goes to another one that is specifically for end of life care.

    I feel numb at the moment & that it's not real. Worried about dad as he is also living with cancer & it's terminal. He has cancer in oesophagus, liver & lymph nodes. His scan is next week & was told last Nov he has less than one year to live. Sometimes I feel as if my chest is crushing down but feel I have to concentrate on mam first. 

    I have not had a chance to ask about her final days but hoping to over the next day or two. 

    Jx

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.