Hi there, welcome to the forum, but sorry for why you're here. I'm not sure how to respond to your post, other than to say you seem really angry about what is happening with your loved one - I believe your Mom? Its' not unusual for family members to be angry when this terrible disease happens to a family member. It sounds like you want her to take better care of herself, even though she may be coming to the end of her life. That is likely why you are so upset - because you probably will lose her in the near future. That is really hard for loved ones to accept. 

It might be helpful for you to get some support for yourself so you can support your mom through this difficult time. Do you have some other family members to help with this? Perhaps if you talk with her paliative care team, they may be able to help you with getting some support for yourself. There are many people here on the forum who are going through very similiar experiences as you, so hopefully, one of them will respond to your post. You can also phone the nurses during business hours at the number on the bottom of this page. You really need to find a way to help you with your frustration around your Mom's illness, not only for your sake, but also for hers. She is likely having a really hard time trying to cope as well. I wish you well and hope you are able to get this worked out.

Sending you hugs

Lorraine    

Hi there, my mum has lung cancer she has come to live with me and my family,she is a very domineering person but the last couple of days she has started to get really argumentative stubborn and rude.causing lots of stress for me I am with her 24/7as she can't even stand up on her own so I am taking her to the toilet half the time I have to guide her to sit on the loo but she gets angry with me she actually made me cry this morning this is not an easy road to travel.

Lorraine D  is so right , you need someone to support you and someone to talk to.  I am very newly diagnosed , I am also a mum and have tried to see this from her point of view . 

  Poor lady I'm sue she feels angry , frightened  , embarrassed , you are her child and she has been there for you.  Now you are looking after her , role reversal . 

Could you talk to a specialist nurse ? Someone who has seen it all before.  You need to take a bit of time just for you. A walk , a sleep, a chill out .  

You need her as she is your mum and you must be so frightened for her  and for yourself , she needs you  but has a resentment.    Get some help and try and love yourself.  

Hi I just read ur reply my mum also has lung cancer and three brain tumours her moods have totally changed she snaps at me all time even though I'm doing everything I can for her she barely talks now and wen she does she just seems so moody and doesn't seem to appreciate the fact iv given my life up to look after her x

Thank you for your reply, means a lot. She passed away and all I can say this isn't what I wanted to tell you. Yes your right I was/am angry, to watch a proud woman who looked after herself and was proud of her appearance and everything she did and owned.

I will grieve in private, thats all I know and keep telling myself to put a brave face on it, everyone has to go through it, it happens to everyone. But when it happens to yourself, it is the worst feeling in the world and to watch them deteriorate quicker than anything you have known is just so unbelievable.

Thank you for your kind words.

Much appreciated x

Thank youfor replying...

Try and love myself...I couldnt of said finer however I just can't and I grieve in silence and I grieve on my own. My husband works away and that is good for me. I hope Sath can be positive also

I do hope your treatment sees you into the better side of cancer I have everything crossed for you

x

Hi Sammyjane, sadly my mam passed away on the 7th May and I keep reading your post. I came back here because I felt weak/need/looking for something, I have no idea how to put this.

Our mothers are proud and this road is not an easy one to travel. If only everyone understood how hard this gets.

please keep me posted how you are getting on.

x

Hi there, I'm so sorry for the loss of your Mom. I know this is a very difficult time for you and it will take time to heal from the pain that you feel from her death as well as the difficult time during her illness. Losing the mother who gave you life is huge, and watching her suffer made that so hard for you. I think now, you also feel guilty because you were/are so angry because she was also so strong and self sufficient and when she became ill and couldn't make things right again, it was really hard for you to accept. All of us have times when we can't be as strong as we'd like and for those of us who are independent, it is not only hard for us, it is also hard for those around us. I know  if your Mom could tell you it will be okay, she would. You need to tell yourself that it will be okay. Give yourself some time to come to terms with the loss of your Mom. If you feel the need to talk with a professional, please ask your family doctor to refer you. This will get less painful as time goes on.

Come on here whenever you need to "talk" about your feelings. There are many forum members who are, or have been through loss such as you have. Take care of yourself as you deal with this grief.

Lorraine