Hi, 

First time poster on here, I was just wondering if I could seek some advice. 

Back in October last year my dad was disagniosed with Mesothelioma and as I was married in November, I found out about it in December as my parents kindly decided until after the big day to give me the full news. 

Since then, the last 4-6 months have been a (mainly downhill) rollercoaster. Immediately he was taken into hospital as he had quite a severe pleural effusion which was drained and it was filled with the talc like substance on his lung lining which seemed to really improve his breathing and walking for a short spell. 

He was offered chemo with no guarantee it would do anything as the tumour it seems is 8cm in length. He took the chemo and each 3 weeks, he has taken treat for 4 treatments as suggested which has now finished. Over the course of this, despite the odd good day, it seems the chemo hasn't done a great deal of good. When the treatments were ongoing, we could always have something to aim for, but I guess now it feels like that has gone and we are just kind of ....waiting..

He has dropped from a regular 12 stone something, to now 8.5 stone. He struggles to eat, concentrate, watch TV, read, walk, or even stand now. This from a man a year ago who was strong as an Ox, still not retired, golfed every week and was the life and soul of every party. It's a remarkable change in such a small period and I guess now, from my perspective, it's coming round to the realisation my dad isn't going to be here for much longer. 

My mum has dealt with it remarkably well, but I do sense she is starting to crack under the strain of the nurse role she has had to adopt alongside full time work, dealing with the legal case, grief and realising their retirment plans of travelling next year have now been dashed due to a job my dad took in his 20s not even knowing what Asbestos was. 

They live rural and with my working full time I can't constantly see them, but I have gone to every hospital appt I can and travelled late eve/early mornings for both their recent birthdays to make sure I was there, but I feel so damned helpless. There isn't advice I can offer to help my mum, my wife has to put up with my regular crying and emotional state of mind and it's just...so frustrating. 

Next step is another scan on Thursday, followed by those results the following Thursday. He's still focused on attending my brother's wedding in September as a goal to get to, but of course he needs the correct balance of medication, needs a way to put on some weight and be able to lift some of his weariness by then and I'm not sure how he will do this. The effort of going to the end of the garden path makes him need a lie down now, heaven knows how travelling to another country would work.