. had 6 months of chemo last year after removal of advanced colorectal cancer. It had spread to my Fallopian tube , ovary and ilium from the ascending bowel. All were removed along with 20 lymph nodes. 11 were cancerous. In Dec 2015 the cancer had reached the peritoneum. I was told I had 12-18 months from Dec. I started 16 weeks of chemo yesterday, 19/04/16. I cried for the first time this week , I had had symptoms since 2012 but not diagnosed until October 2014 . So it finally cracked my armour and I felt fear. After taking it all in my stride for so long the prospect of my own death was an horrific experience. The hardest thing is trying to protect my family , being positive for and with them is easy but the thought of them after I'm gone is the hardest thing to bear. My 2 daughters , My 3 grandsons, eldest 13 and my granddaughter 3 , my older brothers and sisters, I worry about not being here for them. I think I'm going to cope well again now I've had a bawl ! It's the only way to go. I'm so glad I found this forum and to nick a topical quote we really are " all in this together " .
