Hello Rob, 

So sorry to hear about your father and what you as a family are going through. It's extremely heartbreaking to watch someone you love change because of this horrid 'C' word. I'm sure your Dad will fight right up until the very end. There really are no words to describe what any one of us on here is going through. You'll find strength that you never knew you had, giving up isn't an option. Be strong for both parents and when the time comes comfort your mum and support her in every way possible. Don't forget that you need support too, if you want to cry or shout then do so. Say everything you've got to say to your Dad whilst you can, make him laugh, talk about the past and hold him close to you. Take photos if you can and if he's able to get out and about then perhaps do little things even if it's a walk in the park to feed the ducks or to have coffee and cake in a coffee shop. It's about creating little memories and all spending quality time together. 

Wish you, your Dad and the rest of the family the best of luck on this journey. 

My dad passed away last night in his sleep , he looked peaceful with no pain , totally gutted , he really was my hero. 

Trying to support my mum, they were life partners and had been together 50 years gone but not forgotten x 

Dear Rob

We are so sad to hear this and our thoughts go out to you and your family at this very difficult time. I'm sure your mum is very grateful for your support in her time of need and I hope you too find support to help you through this. Please do come and chat to us at any time.

Best wishes,

Kirsty 

Thanks kirsty I will x 

So sorry to hear this Rob, no words are ever enough. Look after yourself and your mum. I hope you're getting plenty of support, best wishes x 

Thanks butterfly , cancers a ***

I am so very sorry.My mum died at home 5weeks ago and it's something you can't understand until you have walked that path.I just spent as much time as I could with her....held her hand ...told her all I needed to tell her and did all I could to make her comfortable...I don't know if you have carers coming in But i know my dad now wishes he had as he spent so much time thinking about that side of things which at the time he wanted to do himself...I wish you and your family all the very best and again am so sorry for all you are having to bear

Hi Rob,

I remember when you first came on a month ago trying to work out how long your father had left.

It's always heartbreaking when you lose someone so close to you but I'm really happy to hear that he got to come home and be surrounded by you all in his last days rather than be in a hospital hooked up to loads of wires and that he was comfortable enough to pass away gently in his sleep.

I hope when my time eventually comes I can have an ending like that

It sounds as if you did evrything you possibly could to make it as easy and as comfortable as you could when his time came and I think you can be very proud of yourself for that.

Remember that although cancer is horrible to watch as someone you love fades before your eyes you at least have some notice, a short time to make arrangements to say goodbye and perhaps to have a few close wonderful moments if you're very lucky.

There are people out there who will get up tomorrow morning seemingly as right as rain and by the evening will have succumbed to a stroke or heart attack and the first thing their families know will be when two police officers knock at the door with somber faces. I suspect that some of those famillies would give an awful lot to have had the last month that you had with your father.

When you're married a long time the fact is that one partner will eventually go first. In my case it was my wife of 25 years last October. Selfishly you sometimes wish it had been you but then that would have left her to pick up that bill, to have carried on with that pain and grief and I think I am stronger.

I don't know how strong your mother is but I do know she will be suffering now as her life has been turned upside down and you won't be able to console her but you will be able to be there for her so she has someone to talk to, to tell how it felt, to share the rememberances of your father with.

Talking helps - just a little every time, little by little it becomes that bit less painful. You won't notice it at first but slowly you'll go longer periods without the memory of his last days intruding.

Best of luck with the healing and stay on line and talk to those of us who are going through similar losses - together we are stronger

Hi Rob, nobody should have to go through something like this alone so you and your mum are lucky to have each other! you will find the strength needed to carry on and support your Mum! and will probably surprise yourself.

I have had the privilege as a Nurse to care for people in their last hours of life in this world. The hearing is always the last sense to go so say everything you need to say to your Dad he will hear you!and know that you are there.

Take care Rob x

We never thought it would be this quick , we all thought it would be at least a year if not longer , my dad's ttwin brother came round to see us today , when he walked out the room it could of been my dad , every tthing you do and say just reminds me of him , his silly sayings , his heart of gold , I know non of you guys ever met him but he had no edge to him at all and never once in my 41 years on earth did I ever see him    get mad at anything , he was always the life and soul at any party. He had a hard childhood ,his dad was a bit of a drinker and used to get a bit violent , but dad never lifted his hand once . Mine and my brothers childhood was very good , we was never rich or had all the best stuff but my mum and dad did the best they could which all I can do is thank them for . It's now time to pay back for all the great memories they gave us , I promised dad to look after my mum , I will not let him down, thanks dad you are the best .