Dad will soon pass away from advanced prostrate cancer

My dad was diagnosed with prostrate cancer 5 years ago and has now been told that it's in its final stage. Before I  travelled out of the country he was in stable health now he's slowly detoriating. He can no longer breath alone he's having to relying on supply of oxygen. The hospital have said the chemotherapy treatment and medications are no longer working and he's been advised to stay in a hospice where he will be cared for 24 hours. He has said he doesn't want to go into the hospice he just wants to return home and be cared for by us as the family I knew this day will come but at the same time it's very difficult having this face knowing my dad will eventually go. I'm not really in good talking terms with my mum and don't know how to go about communicating with her.  At the moment he wants everybody to leave him alone and doesn't want to rely on oxygen supply anymore I would appreciate if I could be given some advise how to go about this situation I'm having to face.

  • Hi,

    Really sorry to hear of your situation.

    It sounds as if your father has decided that he's come to the end of his fight and wants to come home to die quietly. I think that much as we love people and want them to fight on that there is nothing really as personal as this and we should respect someones decision as to how and when they want to go.

    I assume from what you say you aren't in the country and are worrying about coming back to see him before he goes and your relationship with your mother if you do.

    Are you able to communicate with your father? - emails etc? What does he want?

    I think I'd try to come back to see him if I could one last time but that's reflective of the relationship I had with my father and my mother - very difficult to advise not really knowing that.

    I'm sure your father will understand whatever you decide

  • Hi,

    It's been my experiance that people with cancer like to try and keep some normality in their lives which is so hard to do. Having lost several close family to cancer plus having had it myself I feel it is often harder for the relative and friends  of the patient. For you are trying to appear you are coping while falling apart inside. I do appreciate how you feel as I lost my Father who lived in Canada just a few months ago.

    Sending kind thought and best wishes, Brian.

  • sorry to hear that I also have my dad in same situation but I'm just wondering wat were your dad's first scans and bloods like wat his gleason score and his psa etc tks