Don't let this get you down - I truly think that it is poor advice as opposed to fact.  The CAB or McMillan benefit advisor are by far the best people to talk to. Please see them asap!

How about ESA Tonim?  There are two parts - one linked to NI contributions - non means-tested but reduced a little with a pension of £85pw or more coming in.  As long as you/hubby have paid NI in the years 2013-2015 you WILL both be eligible and placed into the 'support group' because of your diagnosis.  The other part of ESA is linked to your employment -  I am not sure about the ins/outs of eligibility but the DWP ESA division are so very helpful that they will explain it all to you as will CAB.  Also Carers allowance for both of you  - you both have an incurable prognosis I believe and you are caring for each other!  There are other things if your joint savings are below a certain amount but the above two I have mentioned are ones I know for sure are available to you after talking to the advisors I have told you about.

Take care sweetheart  and don't let it get to you - It will be sorted with the right help x

Thanks max56

We don't qualify for carers as you can only get that if your on less than £106. Per week and our pip is more than that so we don't qualify.

I get a small amount of ESA contribution only. My hubby doesn't because he is getting paid by his employers 2 ,days a week .

I've spoken to theMacMillan advice team and they have confirmed it. I can't believe it, because I'm getting pip and ESA and a small pension and he's getting 2 days a week wages and pip we can't get any help with mortgage or anything..

Well we're alive, not sure what life we're going to live. But we're alive, skint my have to sell the house and down size, but we're alive. That's the only positive I can think of right now and through out all this I do believe positive thinking helps.II'l keep telling!myself this as its 1.45 am and I'm wide awake.

Hubby still in hospital, been 7 weeks now, its driving him nuts and me, but he's obviously in the right place at the moment.

I can honestly say, I think it's only the kids and grandkids that is keeping me going at the minute. Life just seems so cruel and I'm not a cruel person.

Hi Tonim.  It's truly awful to think that if you were renting, you would get housing benefit to cover your rent but there is no help when you have a mortgage.  Do the actual mortgage companies have anything in place for this situation or does an insurance run alongside your debt? Sorry to be saying basic stuff - but I know from experience that sometimes all this stuff is going on around you and its hard to see the wood for the trees.  God knows how people cope alone when they are ill and aren't 100pc on the case - I've always wondered that. The decisions needed on your care/treatment are enough without all the personal financial form-filling and interviewing.  It's a gap someone needs to fill to help people in our situation.

How's hubby doing? Is he expected to be able to return home soon? And how are your family?  

I can tell how you are feeling emotionally,  but how are you doing physically honey? X by

Hi Toni,

So sorry to hear that you have money worries on top of everything else. Means-tested benefits haven't kept pace with inflation over the years meaning that anyone with more than a very minimal income doesn't qualify for anything. 

Have you investigated whether you'd be receiving more income through benefits if your husband were to give up work on ill-health grounds? Not ideal I know, but you may be caught in a benefits trap where a small income prevents access to higher benefits.

I'm in a similar position benefits-wise. The ill-health pension I worked all my life for prevents me accessing ESA or any other means-tested benefits or grants. Sadly my mortgage payments and other bills didn't reduce when I had to take early retirement halving my monthly income. We're trying to down-size our home, but we haven't been able to find a buyer yet. Ironically all our money worries will vanish when I die and my life insurance pays out.

I hope you manage to find a way through this.  

All the best
Dave 

Same to you Davek

It does rile me, when you think you've paid in all your life and when you need some help its not there.

Having to downsize not easy, but I imagine once you've got over it, it probably feels a relief having no mortgage to worry about. Snao with the life insurance.

Ive decided to ty not to worry about it too much, and there is the interest onlyootio on the mortgage. 

Thanks for the support, take care Toni

Hi Tonim, I had been following your posts earlier on and wondered how you were doing now. Sorry to hear that financially you are having it so tough. I understand your frustration about having contributed all your life in your country and then when you need help, it isn't there for you. Newcomers are given all they need and more which does add insult to injury. I see that happening here (Canada) and although we're not down and out yet, I see the poor and homeless here not getting what they need. I see kids not having enough warm clothing and are not getting enough nutritious food. Also, adequate housing is hard to come by for people who don't have the money to pay the rent for a decent place to live. If our young people were given a hand up to attend University, they could get better paying jobs and do well, but its' not available if their parents aren't well off. However, it is what it is and you or I can't change it.

About your health and that of your husband's - I'm so sorry that both of you are dealing with this terrible disease, and struggling with financial worries on top of all that. If you can just pay the interest on your mortgage, I would certainly take that option. Either that, or perhaps sell your home, although that would certainly be difficult at this time as well. I can't speak to the financial help that may be available to you there, but it sounds a lot like here. Right now, we are living in an apt. (a fairly nice one) and I have some money put away from the equity I had in my home that I sold a few years ago. It isn't much but it does help in a pinch to be able to dip into it. My husband isn't in the best of health either, not cancer, but he has diabetes and heart issues, along with all the other stuff that goes along with diabetes. Before too long, we're going to need someone to help out with the cleaning here in the apt. and perhaps drives to and from medical apts. We won't qualify for financial assistance for any of that because we're considered "financially able to pay" whatever that means. What little I have will be eaten up pretty quick when we reach that point and of course, I am eventually going to need help with personal care as my disease progresses. I'm also quite a bit older than most of you which adds to my inability to perform a lot of tasks.

I know that it is said that misery loves company, but that isn't the case here. It doesn't make me feel better to know that people are hurting, not only with cancer, but with all the other challenges we face with the other aspects of our lives. I wish there was something I could say to make it better for you, but I can't.. I hope you're able to find a solution to your financial challenges and perhaps some of the suggestions that our good friend Max has made might work for you.

Take care and sending you hugs.

Lorraine

Thanks Lorraine, and its not true, you don't do anything, just having an outlet and people replying so your not on your own is a great feeling.

I'm not worrying too much for the time being, going to take it as it comes and see how the finances and our savings dwindle haha. If we have to go interest only so be it.

Hubby got another infection, had to have another xray today so it puts everything into perspective, he's far more important than money or a mortgage. Xx

That's good. 

I hope you have the perfect wedding :-)