Hi Everyone,
A little over 3 months ago I posted on here about caring for my mum who had Stage 4 Small Cell Lung Cancer. Now i am fully aware there are different sub sections of lung cancer but basically what my mum had was terminal.
On the 27th June 2015, my mum was given the diagnosis oh Lung Cancer, we was then passed on to an Oncologist who explained that mum would have to have Radiotherapy as she had 3 Brain mets and Chemoherapyfor the cancer in her right lung. Now me being me I am a research person, I can't help it and I can't stop it once I've started. When my mum was discharged from hospital in June we was given discharge papers which stated what staging my mum was. At no point when we met the oncologist did he mention how far along she was. I had to research myself and I told my sisters because they had no idea.
My mum never wanted to know anything I looked at or researched because she was adamant she was going to beat this as we was told 2 years and she would be fine?!
At this stage I handed my notice in and left my job as I felt I needed to be by my mums side all day every day. We went to Radiotherapy and from then on mum began to change, she was tired all the time. Slept a lot, didn't feel like eating unless I made her (which sounds terrible but the truth). Didn't want to go out and started to become really tired if we walked to the shops which without a doubt about 3 minutes from our house. She wasn't well.
Her birthday came, 18th August. Now my mum has always been the life of the party always the one arranging the party, and this year she didnt get out of bed. She would fall asleep holding my hand so tightly and when I thought it was safe to sneek away she would wake up and ask where I was going? She wanted me to be there every second of every day and I loved it. I loved spending the days snuggled in bed (litterally in bed) watching films we both love, making her dinner and getting her drinks, making sure she took the correct medication. Mum and I became closer than I ever thought we could be. We laughed and talked all day. I would sometimes feel like I needed a break but when I did go out or see my boyfriend, all I would want to do is go back and be with my mum.
On the 22nd August mum went into hospital as she contracted pnuemonia, she was very grey in the days before she went in and always saying she couldn't breathe. They put her on Oxygen and gave her Antibiotics and she started to get better. The oncologist knew she was in hospital and said she had to go for chemo otherwise it would just get worse. Now in my opinion, she wasn't strong enough for chemo but he pushed for it anyways. So she had the chemo and she wasn't herself. She couldn't wash herself and never asked a nurse to help, she waited for me to arrive and wanted me to do it, which of course I did because you do what your mother asks of you. She started losing her hair a lot and was incredibly weak.
On the saturday before she died, she fell and hit her head and the side of her back. As procedure they have to take blood and check your observations more regularly. The found the pnuemonia wasn't going away and she was susceptible to infection, so we was moved to a side room. August bank holiday Monday, she was being sick constantly and wouldnt eat or drink, begging for help because she was in pain but no nurses assisted, when we asked for help the Sister of the ward told us to go and wait our turn. All whilst my mum was begging for air whilst being on oxygen and in huge amounts of pain.
1st September 2015, I stayed over night on the monday and left early in the morning as I had to get some sleep and I knew my sister was coming around 8 am. I got home and went to sleep. About 11 am my brother in law was banging on the front door and ringing me, I answered and he said.. you need to come to the hospital. I arrived at the hospital to find half my family were in the room and my mum coughing up blood, her face was grey and puffy and he hands and feet were ice cold. She was dying. The doctors told us my mum has Sepis and that the next 36 hours were critical. Not once was she moved to a ICU or anything like that but kept on the respite ward. Mum was begging for air and was asking for us to open a window so she could breathe but kept taking her mask off, she was aggitated and didnt really recognise who was there and who wasn't.
At 2:55pm on the 1st September, my mum passed away with her family around her and love in her heart. She was/is my bestfriend and now she isn't here in body to watch me grow up and have children or get married. I feel like I can no longer go on, and I want to be with her. My life has changed dramaically and all i want is my mum to hold my hand.
Sorry this is extremely long but I just needed to tell my story... and this is actually only half of it. :(
