Can we refuse district nurses at end of life ?

Hi all, my mother is now at the end stages of terminal lung cancer. She is still mobile with help but can not stand alone or walk. She has lost so much weight she is literally skin and bones. I think she could go anytime from now up until a few weeks. She is confused all the time and sleeping lots. She has the odd moments of being normal in conversation but generally she is confused.  She is living with my sister and my sister is taking great care of her with our help. However the GP wants to be involved in mums end of life care by way of district nurses and palliative hospice nurses. My mum does not want to go into a hospice and would rather pass away at home. My sister does not want the district nurses in her house as she does not like or trust them. Personally I have no issue with them but it's not my house. The GP said if they are refused access to my mum they will safeguard her and possibly remove her from my sisters care. I just want to know if anyone knows whether  they are allowed to do this and or whether my sister is allowed to refuse them Ito her home . Any info at all will be greatly appreciated as this is causing much friction between my sister and I at a time when we should be focussing in our mother . Thanks 

 

  • Hi

    I really sympathise with the situation you find yourself in as it can be so difficult to 'work round' family differences at such sad times. When my husband was terminally ill and entering the last week with us he made the decision to be cared for at home and, to  be honest, without the imput of our team of district nurses I know I could not have coped alone. My  husband was not keen in having to accept their help but he also did not want me to cause me  distress and so we reached a compromise and when I could not  help (usually relating to pain relief administration and the medical side of things) we called the nurses who would pop us on their rota.

      I know it is not easy and you would not want to worry Mum but have you or your sister asked her how she would like to be kept comfortable (perhaps when you are both tending her).  If you are worried for your Mum's safety then a quiet word with her GP about the tensions might be helpful and he/she may be able to explain to your sister that it would benefit her as well as your Mum. I do not believe the district nurses would come where they are not welcome but if the GP feels there is a risk to either your Mum or sister they could apply for intervention and this could lead to your Mum being moved.  I do hope you can find a way to keep all concerned happy with arrangements as you should all be making good memories just now. Sending a hug. Jules54