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end of life care and support

Katyb
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Hello x

 

My dad was diagnosed with advanced bladder a year ago he was told he had the all clear after a full rc which removes the bladder and prostrate leaving you with a stoma..unfortunately that wasn't the case he was constantly complaining of chest pain which got worse finally two months ago we were told it had spread to the sternum (bone Mets) he is now in a hospice which was initially just for pain management however he has deteriorated  and is now confused too and had what we seemed to think was a semi fit yesterday...they think it may have spread to his brain..does anyone else have experience of this kind of thing and what we can expect..some days he seems better than others x 

  •  

    Hi Kat,

    Im sorry to hear of your situation.

    My nan had cancer of the lungs which spread all over and to the brain.

    She went to a hospice also, and as horrible as it is to have a loved one in that situlation, the hospice staff do the best they can to make them comfortable.

    My nan was given everything needed to make her calm and sleep, the end was very peaceful but quick.

    One day she was awake talking, the next she had stopped eating, and within a day or so she had passed. You are full of sadness, butl also releif that the person is no longer having to battle this horrible decease.

    I don't think anything can prepare you, try to make the most of the time you have left.

    Im very sorry.

  • Offline

    Hi Katy,

    So sorry to hear about your Dad. It is such an awful disease.

    My mum had cancer of the oesophagus,  which was also in the later stages and very aggressive.  She passed away just 2 months after being diagnosed at 52. My mum also went into a hospice,  initially to control the pain,  but they planned to biuld her up for chemo.

    Someday's she seem good, eating ice cream, which filled us all with hope. Unfortunately though, the good days were always followed by a bad day. I soon realised that she wasn't going to get through it, she continued to lose weight at a rapid pace. 

    My Mum also became very confused, that was more to do with the syringe driver. She would say things like ' there is a cat walking along the window' and she would try and point. 

    ​Just try and be strong for your Dad. You needs you now more than ever before.

    ​All the best,

    Sending you a hug. 

     

    ​Janna 

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