Glad you have made a decision Jo   -  and I think its the right one.  Well, its not raining today, yeah!! It has poured every day for ages and I have been stuck indoors because I can no longer drive and hubby has been away at work.  I am now going to make the most of the sunshine and take little Alfie for a walk over the muddy fields.  Take care Jo and speak soon - I hope all goes well when you have your chats x

Glad that you are now in a good place to take your thoughts forward. Your guidance to many on this forum is just as welcome and makes the forum community an ideal outlet for so many.Wishing you, your partner and the family a peaceful weekend and know you will drawer strength from those close to you as and when necessary(forum buddies included).

Like Max  (hiya and hope you have bright wellies for your muddy walkies), I too am heading into the sunshine (whilst it lasts) but only as far as the garden as bought a load of bulbs last weekend which need planting in stages over next few weeks.  Love and hugs,Jules xx

Hi jo

Your post (and some of the replies) brought tears to my eyes. I was so pleased when I read your decision because I hope it will help you when you have updated the family.

I agreed with those who said that you should do what, deep down, would help you most rather than what would help your family although maybe that amounts to one and the same.

i know you don't always get the reaction you hope for but I hope that, once done, it will put your mind at rest on this dilemma.

Take care.

Debbie

x

I think I know how you feel. I recently underwent surgery for stage three colon cancer and do tend to want to protect my family from what might be and also the pain I have been in. However my mum died of cancer and as I was living at the other end of the country I did not find out about just how bad she was until very late on precisely because she wanted to protect me. But the truth is she couldn't protect me. When I eventually found out I was devastated and wished so much that she had allowed me the opportunity to support her, to hold her hand when going for chemo, to talk about her fears, to show her how much I cared. Instead she went it alone and I wish to god she hadn't tried to protect me. My feeling for myself is that I owe it to my family to give them the opportunity to help. I can't deny them that.  Hope my little reflection helps you, and all the best. X

Hi Jo, 

Sorry to read about your diagnosis and I do understand your concerns. 

My dad sadly passed away on stomach cancer... He did tell me and my siblings that he had half a year time left to live and I was glad he told us. Because it gave me and my siblings the chance to spent some quality time with my dad and it also helped me to deal better with my grief of losing him, because I had time to prepare for the unthinkable which was losing my lovely dad. 

Kind Regards, 

Julia

Hi Debbie,

Thanks for your reply. I'm now more mentally prepared myself to explain the latest news to my children, so hopefully, this weekend will be the time we get together to talk things through.

I hope you're ok? I still see your name pop up on Nicola's thread. Take care chick, Jo xx

Hi Julia, 

Thank you for taking the time to reply to my question. I'm really sorry to read about your dad passing away. 

It has been really helpful to have the perspective from loved ones caring for their relatives as it's not always easy to know what's best to do, from 'this side of the fence' so to speak. 

I am seeing my children this weekend, so I will gently explain about the latest scans. Your sentence about being able to prepare for the unthinkable really struck a chord and helped me to see how it may look from their point of view. 

Thank you again, Jo x