Oh Tonim ..... I can relate to everything you say!  Like you, I have an incurable diagnosis and am doing all I can to be around as long as possible.  I also had an oncologist like yours but I got shot of him because after two years of being told at every appointment that I only had 4-6 months left (3 yrs ago know) I realised he was complacent and negative and wasn't going to support or enthuse me, or find the best treatments available to me.  I now have an oncologist who hugs me when there's good news, says I have made the right decisions about ops etc in the past and that he would have done the same. When I get negative, he tells me he will help me to the best of his ability to live as long as I can - and I actually believe he will try his best.

I don't expect to beat the odds or prove anyone wrong, but I just want to be with my kids as long as possible.  I'm sure you feel the same.

Maybe it's time to read a few reviews on local oncologists and tell the grim-reaper a few home truths! Bet in your situation he would be doing all he could to help himself!

Hope the scans are fine and you can tell him where to file them haha!  Keep laughing, or you will go mad lol x

Toni,

I have no words of wisdom of my own, so I will paraphrase Ricky Nelson "you can't please everyone, so you may as well please yourself"!

B*gger everyone else - do what feels right for you. It is your life, you are right to fight for it and to try to enjoy it as much as you are able. If other people are too dumb to understand that, it is their problem not yours!

You, me, Max and others in our situation are in what can be a very scary and lonely feeling place. No-one else in our lives is having to live with this hanging over them - not the doctors, nurses, loved ones, family, distant relatives or close friends. We all have good days and bad days - it is bl**dy annoying when the good days are spoiled by idiots - even well-meaning ones! My oncologist refuses to give me an updated prognosis, she just smiles and says "your prognosis is unchanged, I don't know what you are doing right, just keep doing whatever it is". I know intellectually that my run of good luck can't last forever but the old cliché is true - every extra day IS a bonus!  

You are doing a great job - please be proud of yourself and concentrate on pleasing yourself. 

Dave
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ps I'm also waiting for scan results :-(

Hi Toni,

How are things with you? 
I hope things aren't still getting you down and that you got through the PET scan OK today.

Cheers
Dave 

Hi Dave and Max 56

In a better place than I was a few days ago. I suppose I'm going to have to get used to having a few wobbles and lows. It's just adjusting to everything.

I had the pet scan today, don't know when I'll get the results as I've asked for a new oncologist. I don't need her negativity, and because of that I can't be sure she's doing the best for me. I need someone who's got my back, regardless of the eventual outcome.

Just the waiting now, fingers toes and everything else crossed.

Thanks for the words of wisdom they really do help.

Hope you both are well

Take care, speak soon

Toni xoxo

dear davek, i just wanted to know how you are doing at the moment , thanks for your last reply eight months on since i lost mum, things are starting to get a bit easier as people keep saying to me life must go on i feel lucky to have mum for seventy four years for cancer took her, mum did not have any problems untill she was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of seventy, and unlucky to get ovarian cancer two years later, a  alot of people tell me  its got to do with the age thing as will get older, i would like to know your take on this, hope to hear from you soon oggi

@Toni - we all have wobbles, thanks for sharing yours with us :-)

@Oggi - glad to hear you're coping better too. It can take a long time and can't be rushed. As for ageing and Cancer - the correlation does seem very strong. The longer people live, the higher the prevalence. I read somewhere that this is due to our bodies slowly becoming less efficient at perfectly replicating cells as they wear out and need replacing - a bit like photocopying the same genetic information over and over again. There's a nifty little video about this process on www.cancerresearchuk.org/.../how-cells-and-tissues-grow

@Oggi - unbelievably I am still in partial remission. My cancer is still there but so far it hasn't started growing again since I came off chemo in January last year. Fingers and toes crossed that it stays dormant. I'm having six monthly CT scans to check on its status - my next one is due in a couple of weeks time.

Cheers
Dave

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