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nat0205
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I'm not sure I should be on here.....but all help or advice would be greatly appreciated.....I'm nearly 40 and have never been 'close' to my mum....but i would do anything for her.....In January she went to hospital with kidney problems. ....now she has bladder cancer and bowel cancer and is dying. I've always been the sort of person to 'kill' for my family. ...be it we fell out or not. I love them.....

Everyone expects me to be some emotionless heartless person......wwhich I am probably. But i love my mum.....and I can't do anything to make it go away. I see her as often as I can and it crucified me to hear her talking about how 'she is ready to die'....All I can think about is 'meeting' her when she has died.......BUT i have 3 children.....The youngest two being 9 and 2.....aam I being selfish thinking like this? (My partner thinks I am) and how can I stop people thinking I  not just crying when I have had a glass of wine.....quite item I think when I travel to work.....The back end of the lorry looks appealing.....just so I can be with my mum....

 

I know om probably rambling....but i have just come back from. Spending two days with my mum and every time I see her she is weaker and thinner.......aand I just sit there and listen to her talking about 

...'when I'm dead'........I REALLY can't hack that talk.....they make me out to be an emotionless person.....and nd I am trying to be strong......bbut all I can think about is being there for my mum on 'tthe other side' and my children on 'this side'.....please help 

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    Hi, how sorry I am for the reasons you have joined this forum. I have a daughter about the same age as you,  and have only spoken to her once this year. She has no idea I have breast cancer - I know I will have to tell her in order to warn her to be aware ( we do have cancer in the family as I lost my mum to ovarian). You may not always see eye to eye with your mum, but you are at least in touch and caring and talking to her and just being there will be a comfort to her I am sure.

    i can understand you don't like to hear her acceptance of the outcome of her illness, it is incredibly upsetting I know. But perhaps she is trying to help you to be strong.

    you have your children to care for, they need you so much as does your partner.  Enjoy the time you spend with mum, talk about things you have done together and let her know you do love her.

    you are bound to be upset and emotional, what you are facing is a real challenge, but you have the strength within you.   Come and talk to us whenever you need to but in the meantime, sending you hugs  xxx

     

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    Hello, Nat, I know you say you have never been close to your mum but you are there for her.  I, too, tell people I am okay with my diagnosis (I have incurable cancer) and that I am preoared for the worst but I am trying to be brave for them.  I think your mum is incredibly lucky to have you there, I have a daughter, nearly your age, that I have seen 4 times this year.  It's a bad time for us all, but we come through it all somehow or other. Be strong for all of you. x

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