Hi Jennifer

Welcome to the forum but sad to see the reason that brings you here.  Though my husband of 63 had a different cancer (in his lung linings) we knew it was incurable from diagnosis so we were on 'wait and see'.

As to how long your dear Mum may have, even the doctors will usually only give an approximation as all cases are slightly different.  My husband 'serious' decline from the illness took just three weeks (nearly 3yrs on from diagnosis) though I am grateful fo the fact that he was kept pain free and comfortable at home (his request) by great community nursing.  His appetite was poor for some time and he was on liquid replacement shakes.  Sadly in the end the cancer took him from us.  He chose not to be told by the doctors if they knew 'how long' though I was told on the Friday it would probably be no longer than a week - in the event he died the following evening having spent the day enjoying the company of family and friends.  It is heartbreaking to lose a loved one at any age and now, nearly six months on, I move forward day by day and am blessed to have the memories of our life together to take along with me.

I hope you can get some guidance from your Mum's medical team. As to when you contact relatives, in our case they were a continuing part of our 'normal lives' and those who wished to visit did so as and when they could. When my husband began to receive 'end of life' care in the last 5 days we were as prepared as much as we could be.  Our children and grandchildren spent his last two days with us during the day (they only lived a few miles away) but with young children had gone home when my husband's breathing changed and he slipped away with dignity and peace.  Our love for him is held in our hearts always.

Sending a virtual hug and hope the forum helps you as much as it helped me to cope during my husband's journey (and onwards).

If you would like to talk to the nurses on this forum you can ring free from UK landlines and most mobiles Mon to Fri 9-5  or post on the Ask the Nurses though the latter may take a few days to answer .

So very kind of you to reply. Yes it does give me some insight.  My hugs are back to you.  My grown "kids" are coming this weekend with their spouses. I dont believe she is ready to pass yet, but could be as you said your husband spent the day with family, happy.  That is wonderful. Thank you again for your input.